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I recently broke off the engagement to my daughter's father and we have completely given up on having more than being our daughter's parents.

Yet he hasn't asked about her or come to see her in since it happened. I know that I am not going to be able to afford to raise her on my own...I work 40+ hours a week and I only make around 24K a year. I know that I am going to place a claim for child support, but along with that what other programs are out there to help out? I have been doing some research but I keep going in circles. I haven't even approached the subject with him yet...

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Asked by AngMomma at 1:09 AM on Jul. 16, 2009 in Money & Work

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Answers (8)
  • Hey mama... First Let me say this...DO NOT GIVE UP ON YOUR DAUGHTER OR YOURSELF.... 2nd Im in the same situation my daughters dad did the same thing. you can suport her by your self dont worry. honeslty girl im 21 and i only work 5 hours a day for(now) i support her fine. the main things your daughter needs is food and diapers and (bottles) i know its hard to do.. you need to go to your states website and look for state help. alsmost every state has help for mothers.. which state do you live in i might be able to help you email me

    Answer by nesamama at 1:40 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • I may have worded that a little wierd, I am by no means giving up on myself or Kali, in fact I actually feel empowered and stronger than I have before. I am also only 21, and with working 40 hours a week, it's just that I have a car payment and rent and all the other bills that go with renting a house, plus needing to buy groceries, it puts me at a point were if anything happened that if either one of us needed to go to the doctor or hospital for something that is not scheduled enough in advance that I have a way of working it into the monthly budget, it would put me on a downward spiral financially. I have looked through the info about child support that Pennsylvania hospitals give unmarried women when they are having a baby and I got some helpful info but when I tried to research farther it just frustrated me...maybe it is just b/c I am so frustrated with him that I don't want to deal with him.

    Answer by AngMomma at 1:52 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • I dont know if the place you live has it but WIC is great help.You can also go to you local division of family and children to apply for goverment help.Check your local food pantrys sometimes they have diapers,pullups and wipes.Your town trustee can help you to if you tell him your situation.Are town trustee even helped my sister pay her bills when she couldnt afford it.And someplaces have a organization called Action that also helps with bills,They have replaced furnaces and refrigerators if they stop working good.Hope this info is helpful.good luck sweety

    Answer by Nikki_91510 at 1:53 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • You can get wic,apply for medical.Please go into the child support office and get that child support please.Ask at work if you can take 2and a half hours of to get all the paper work done and fill it out there don't go home and fill it out.I know were I live,I just heard on the news that if you take your child to day camps at the park or just to play on the weekends they receive a free lunch.For a long time about 3 months.Start using coupons you can even get free shavers,I even got a diabetic machine,gum,cleansers,shampoo all in sunday la times.That will help you also.But girl please go into the child support office he has the responsibility to take care of his child.Good luck .I have been through alot with my first husband for child support it was a hard but I did it.You can message me any time if you want.

    Answer by monica-alvarez at 9:19 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • I have some suggestions on how you can cut expenses:
    Cancel your cable, or call your cable company; they generally will offer discounts if you tell them that you are leaving; I do this annually and usually get 4 months free
    Make some of your own cleaning products; cheap and non-toxic
    stop using paper towels and napkins
    past the age of 2, the only beverage that humans need is water. stop buying juice and sodas; buy milks only for cooking and cereal. You can liven up water with slices of fruits and vegetables; or make ice cubes with blueberry eyeballs.
    Replace meats with beans, lentils, seitan, etc. You can save even more by using dried beans and lentils and making your own seitan
    cook from scratch

    Answer by rkoloms at 10:50 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • replace simple grains (white flour, white rice, white pasta,etc.) with whole grains (brown rice, whole wheat pasta, whole grain breads, etc.). while whole grains may cost more, they have more nutrition and are more filling, so they really are the better value.
    frozen fruits and vegetables have a longer shelf life than fresh and retain their nutrition longer
    once or twice a week have breakfast for dinner: yogurt parfaits with frozen berries and whole grain cereal; veggies omelettes with a bit of cheese and whole grain toast
    instead of baking a whole batch of cookies, make and freeze cookie dough balls; no one will be tempted to sneak a cookie and when you do have cookies they will be fresh baked
    go to the grocery store every 8 days. before you shop, plan all of your meals and snacks for the next 8 days. write your list, pull any necessary coupons, eat and go.
    buy only what is on your list

    Answer by rkoloms at 10:50 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • This is what we use for most cleaning (initially used as part of my daughter's 6th grade science fair project). It is cheap (my favorite) and non toxic.
    ¼ cup white vinegar
    ¾ cup warm tap water
    1 tablespoon baking soda
    10 drops of tea tree oil (antibacterial, antifungal, etc.)
    2 drops oil of lavender (optional) (antiseptic and smells nice)

    If you would like more healthy, budget and family friendly recipes, contact me!

    Answer by rkoloms at 10:51 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • Should be able to go to your county HHS offices and they should have just about everything for you - WIC, food stamps, subsidized daycare, etc. Also - through HHS we have gone to free food fairs where they've given us 2 free bags of groceries, backpacks filled with school supplies. The local food pantry, shop at Goodwill. I did all of this when I first left my ex until I could get back on my feet. And by all means - get child support!

    Answer by missanc at 8:26 PM on Jul. 16, 2009

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