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Is it possible to be in love with someone, but be in love with someone else at the same time? Can you honestly love two people?

I have been with my current boyfriend for almost 3 years now. We have a son together, and we have built our life together, but yet have no plans of getting married in the near or distant future. But I want something serious. Since he doesn't seem to want to give me that extent of seriousness, I have been really distancing myself from him. I have an exboyfriend, the one I was with before this man, and he is recently broken up with his woman of 2 years. He has turned to me for comfort, and I to him in the nights that I am fighting with my man and have my own issues going on. We have done nothing physically, not even hung out or anything, but yet I feel the old spark and same love we had before. Do you think its real love again? Or just something that I'm feeling because I am in a rough spot with my own significant other? I really feel like I'm in love with my ex again, yet I don't want to destroy my family over it. Ugh!

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:09 AM on Jul. 16, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • " am in a rough spot with my own significant other? I really feel like I'm in love with my ex again, yet I don't want to destroy my family over it. Ugh!"

    You said it yourself, yourSO doesn't want to marry you. You are NOT a family!!!!!!! You and your kid are family! He and your kid are family! But YOU and HIM are NOT!!!!!! Not until he marries you. Move on girly!!!! Good LucK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:13 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • Your ex is an ex for a reason.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:17 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • I forgot to tell you why he's my ex. He is my ex because me and him got in a fight over stupid rumors. He-sad-she-said stuff that never even happened, but by the time we figured out that we were being stupid about it and we were kinda like, idk, soulmates? I was pregnant with another man's child. Thus my current relationship status.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:23 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • You can't love two men at once. You love the idea of your child's father and love how the other one makes you feel right now. If you and the ex were really in love you never would have let rumors tear you apart. If you loved your boyfriend you would not emotionally have an affair. If he loved you he would marry you. You have a child and need to put that child first. I can't tell you want to do because I have not been in your shoes. Many of my friends have been and all who have stayed with someone they did not love have been miserable all who have cheated were miserable. The one smart friend who went out on her own and figured out who she was and what she wanted is happy and a few years later found a man she loves and loves her. They have been married nearly 10 years now. Good luck to you.


    Answer by Anonymous at 1:37 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • Hi, That is a hard one. I know its different but don't we love in all ways. Whether it be the love of our lives or the love of our children and then there's the parents.
    I think you are very lonely at the moment and sometimes guys do need a shake up and some tine away from eachother to realize what you really need in your life. Don't be in a relationship because you can. Be in a realationship because your totally in love with that person.
    Your heart skips a beat you miss them when they are away. You think of them 24/7. You need some me time. So go have some me time. You deserve it.
    If you are ever looking at a work at home opportunity email me at

    Answer by lisa359 at 1:43 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • That is a hard one, I think you can love two people at once, but just not in the same way. Are there certain things you love about one that the other doesn't possess? Whatever you do, be true to yourself, and don't let anyone else pressure you in your decision. You need to decide what's going to be best for you, because if you are not happy then your child isn't going to be happy growing up. Good luck I really hope everything works out ok for ya!

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:56 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • All I can say is follow ur heart u shouldn't feel like u have to stay with childs father if ur not feeling him anymore and its not about ur ex either cause he may not be the one either maybe ur only feeling old feelings cause are going through something rght now I went through the same thing and if its meant it will happen just follow ur heart

    Answer by Ms.Vetta at 1:34 PM on Jul. 16, 2009

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