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How understanding could you be?

If your husband was at work all day, and always came home saying that he was tired ( so sex was out of the question) or made your sex life feel scheduled, but however 2 years prior his sex drive was in overdrive. Infidelity isnt a issue, however he will watch porn (which I don't care), but take care of your wife first! So could you be understanding on night getting as much sex as you would like.

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:03 AM on Jul. 16, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • F**k that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:09 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • Why is it okay with you if he watches porn? No, thats not okay. Simply because he is denying you. Pornography is obviously taking care of his needs and that leaves nothing left. To hell with that. I would be having a come to jesus meeting with him about that. You need to let him know you are feeling hurt and left out because he isnt making time to connect with you intimately, much less meeting your physical needs as well. I would feel so unloved and unwanted if my husband behaved that way. I have literally no sex drive at all. Ive just got too much going on, but I still make myself available, because it isnt about me and what I want. I am meeting my husbands needs. Its for him. You need to start caring that hes replacing the time he could be spending with you, with unrealistic images of women and their fantasies while hes getting himself off. Why do that when you can have the real thing in your own bed? I just dont get that.

    Answer by momofsaee at 8:14 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • I'm one of those people who generally believes porn is not a big deal. However, when he is looking at porn, and not having sex with you, that is a big deal. It's one thing for a man, or a woman, or a couple, to use porn as an...enhancement to their sex life, it's another thing entirely for one or both of them to use porn to replace their sex life, which is what your husband seems to have done. I'd be sitting down with him and making it very clear to him that the porn needs to stop and he needs to have sex with me. If he is unwilling or unable to stop, then maybe he should talk to a therapist about a possible sex addiction. Maybe, either way, you should also consider some marriage counseling, in case there's another reason why he's doing this. Whatever is going on, you need to get him to stop the porn. Good luck!

    Answer by tropicalmama at 8:24 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • It honestly really depends on the circumstances. I don't have a problem with my DH watching porn, and a couple of years back we had a problem similar. But he had just changed jobs, and was under a lot of stress I did not know about. When he finally admitted how much he hated his job, and how stressful it was, I was able to understand his failing sex drive. It had nothing to do with me, but I was hurt and upset thinking he was cheating or addicted to his porn suddenly. I could've saved myself a lot of grief by just sitting him down and forcing him to talk about it, and give me an answer. Some men are embarrassed by problems in the bedroom, and they'd rather you think they were cheating than admit they were so stressed/worried etc, that they couldn't perform anymore!! Also, have him see a doctor if you can't find a cause for it: around that same time my DH was diagnosed with sleep apnea, which can make you very tired.

    Answer by Emuu at 8:24 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • im to tired to wanna have sex right now so if my hubby wants to look at porn it doesnt bother 36 weeks pregnant and not in the mood to evenbe touched...i love my hubby but i guess sometimes doing it yourself is easier than doin it with another person

    Answer by Mamaof2boys0709 at 8:32 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

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