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"There are no bad children - just bad parents." - Is this true?

READ FIRST: I don't really know what to think about this quote but found it interesting so I figured I would throw it out there into the Cafe Mom wind and see what everyone thinks about it.

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jennilovesryan

Asked by jennilovesryan at 8:34 AM on Jul. 16, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (55)
  • That's not always true, you can be great parents and still end up with horrible children.
    sammiesmom2000

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 8:37 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • Not at all. There are bad children. Sometimes it doesn't matter how much you discipline your children they can still be bad. This quote is just saying that if your child grows up and kills someone then its the parents fault? No i dont think so. Children make the decision to do things wrong or right and as parents we take action by what they do. If the child doesn't listen it doesn't make the parents bad just the child.

    Shelii

    Answer by Shelii at 8:39 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • There are no "bad" children- just bad behavior.

    JeremysMom

    Answer by JeremysMom at 8:42 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • I think its laughable. Kids are born with an sinful nature. Our job as parents is to teach them to do RIGHT. The bad parents are the ones who refuse to take the time to do this. Once the child isnt taught, then the bad behavior continues into adulthood. So while the child might have been short changed by not having a parent do teach them the right thing to do, they get second chances as an adult to take responsibility for where they are NOW and make it better. You cant blame parents after a certain point. If kids were born innocent, then we wouldnt have spend our entire lives teaching them to do right. They would already know. So bottom line is that we all are born gravitating towards things that arent right, but those with poor parenting just end up having to learn it all the hard way. Theres a line where the parental responsibiltiy stops and the personal responsibility begins.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 8:42 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • No. How else could you explain that my parents raised 5 kids - 4 of us are just fine and dandy and the 5th is in prison right now after mistake after mistake after mistake. He was raised in the same house, same parents, same set of rules and all and he's SO different from the rest of us. It might be true in some cases, but then that just means the statement is still false because it's too general.
    whittear

    Answer by whittear at 8:43 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • Bad parents if they fix the problem.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:45 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • I disagree. In general I suppose that's true becuase most kids start out the same innoconce and desire to make their parents happy. But some kids have mental issues and will just do bad things no matter what. So in general I agree, but there are exceptions.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:04 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • you are asking "Nature vs Nurture" IMO is it is a combination of both). Take some psych classes if you can and you can learn a lot more about all sides of The argument.
    Octobersmom

    Answer by Octobersmom at 9:19 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • Well its a bit of both...... NO PARENT is perfect, and no child is perfect....Some kids are just bad apples from the start...... I have seen soooo many bad apples in my time and let me tell you their parents have laxadazacal attitudes for the most part, because they have given up on their kids.... And their kids have taken control....
    Mommy-Again

    Answer by Mommy-Again at 9:24 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • Up until a certain point, yes I agree. Until they are really able to express their own personality, then no, they are not inherently "bad". After a certain age however, yes they can start deciding how they want to act on their own, and sometimes they choose to act "badly". I believe its a combination of Nature and Nurture, after all.. some absolutely normal families will produce children with inherent psych problems (Ted Bundy for example), while their siblings are fine. But before an age of cognitive reasoning, how can the child be bad? They are just using mimicry to learn at that point, and have no ability to separate which is acceptable, and which is not.
    Emuu

    Answer by Emuu at 9:25 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

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