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How would you react?

If your best friend or sister who has been in a loveless marriage for over a year and recently separated told you she had met someone and gotten pregnant, but she's stil legally married to her husband? If she loves this other man and wants to build a life with him and their child. Would you be judgemental and tell her she should have waited or be understanding that she fell in love and is FINALLY happy. What if her and the ex husband tried for 5 years to have a child and nothing, but she got pregnant after 4 months with this man's baby. Would you support her or be disappointed in her?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:59 AM on Jul. 16, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • The baby's already coming whether you like it or not. What will it help if you don't support her? Yes, she needs to get her divorce finalized so she can move on legally, but it sounds like she already has moved on emotionally. I would encourage her to get moving on the divorce, but by all means give her any support she needs!
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 9:03 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • I have a friend who is in a similar situation, and I have always supported her. However, you might want to urge your sister to go ahead and get divorced BEFORE the baby arrives, bc that can cause a lot of legal issues. Legally, the baby is her ex's, and the new father's name cannot appear on the birth certificate in certain states until after the divorce. Also, depending on the relationship between the two getting divorced, he can sue for custody of the child and cause a lot of grief. My friend has had to go through a lot of that with her ex, and its not pretty. I agree with Missanc, the baby is already there and support her as much as possible. There is no sense in crying over spilled milk as the case may be. She is going to need all the support she can get!
    Emuu

    Answer by Emuu at 9:09 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • just be supportive, you can tell her all you want but she isnt going to hear ya.. if you want her to do something she will do the oppiset.. just go with the flow.. tell her to get a divorce and go with the babies daddy if he makes her happy, cause in the long run she will leave her hubby anyway or he will leave her..
    ArlieBeeMee

    Answer by ArlieBeeMee at 9:28 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • I am not approve of what she has done...

    but she is my sister and I would stand by her...

    I would most likely feel sorry for my brother in law....but it is out of your control.
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 9:38 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • I think u should support ur sister no matter what issues u have with what she did, cuz right now she needs u most of all. God bless u both.
    carltom

    Answer by carltom at 10:06 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • I would support her. I would tll her that im happy she found someone but i would also tell her that she is an idiot for not waiting till the divorce was final. But i would still be there for her if she needs me.
    Shelii

    Answer by Shelii at 10:20 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • I would ask her how she wanted to handle the circumstances. Then I would say, "I think I would tell my husband that I am not in love with him and have not been for some time. I would then tell him I would like a divorce and I will be moving out." I would tell her the next steps would depend on his responses and her actions. Honesty is the best way to handle a messy situation, but you do not have to lay everything out all at once. One step at a time is sensible, because she many not know the exact response from either man until she takes the next step. We have no magic wand to wave so no one gets hurt, but we do have ways to make situations less damaging to all parties.
    loulou54

    Answer by loulou54 at 10:53 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

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