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Strong, secure, and loving moms help me-

I have 4 children my oldest (13) is making me nuts, she is not coming home from school, the other night I had to call the cops-she is not doing anything wrong-I mean like drugs, drinking, or having sex-from the way we see it anyway, I am getting therapy, she is and the family is together, but it is taking forever and disrupting the whole house-in the mean time what should I do? Have a friend pick her up and if she don't go with her call the cops? Help, I need advice. She was never like this. I am so confused. All kids are not the same for all you parents that have perfect children, mine are not and they all have diffrent personalities. This started 2 months ago.

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KFree907

Asked by KFree907 at 10:55 AM on Jul. 16, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 20 (8,947 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Well what is she doing that she isn't coming home from school? Sounds to me like somethings up. Where does she tell you she was at? If I was you, the next time she doesn't come home, call the cops and tell them to take her to juvy for being a runaway. They will take her down and can "pretend" to book her in. Maybe that will freak her out. I would definitely try and find out what she's been up to though. There has to be a reason she isn't coming home...and my first thought would be everything you said you don't think she is doing....
    Ash9724

    Answer by Ash9724 at 11:00 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • WHAT IS SHE DOING?
    older

    Answer by older at 11:07 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • She is definitely a tom girl, she hangs out, no one ever saw her doing what alot of her friends are doing, I never caughter her kissing, hugging boys, or anything like that. She says the boys talk about the girls-sometimes they are not nice, but at least it is not me. She tells me certain things but not fully.

    I think i will pick her up tomorrow if she does not come straight home, It needs to be done.
    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 11:12 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • Not all of her friends are frisky but a few of them are, and she talks about it once in a while.
    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 11:13 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • you need to find out from her why she is misbehaving. start having regular mother/daughter time. take a picnic lunch to the park (leave cell phones at home) and just talk about what is going on in both of your lives. Don't expect and major epiphanies; this will probably be a slow process, she needs to learn how to trust you.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 11:53 AM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • Wow, I'm sorry. I have no advice. but your comment about perfect children made me think of my DD. Yes I have two perfect children, but she isn't one of them. (NO the boys aren't really perfect either, just a heck of a lot easier.) Don't know what it is about girls around 13 or 14.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:36 PM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • I empathize with you sweetie! My oldest daughter, who is now 20 years old, was tough! Dig your feet in and refuse to give up on her! refuse to let her become a statistic of teenage kids who are completely lost and out of control. It is what I did and now my daughter is a nursing student working with the elderly. It no secret that girls at 13 or 14 have growing pains. Some more difficult than others. My youngest is now 14 and I have learned a great deal from my oldest, enough to make it easier this time around. TIME....make time for her. Put the concerns of the younger kids aside for her. Take her for ice cream, to a movie, make dinner at home together....you get the point, she needs to feel like she is a priority at times. In addition, most police stations will allow you to fill out a wayward child report with ou t pressing charges..they will work with you on counseling. If all else fails...never give up on her!
    Lucy1963

    Answer by Lucy1963 at 3:01 PM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • If possible I would go to the school everyday and walk or drive her home, if she still runs off then fill out permament pickup orders. After a couple of pickups by the cops AND the lecture that goes with it she will probably settle down some, if not they will give her weekends in juvie, beleive me juvie works wonders sitting in a room alone from 4pm Fri till 4pm Sun. Yes sir, no sir, yes mam, no mam, the uniform etc. Home after that seems like paradise!
    higherboundmom

    Answer by higherboundmom at 5:57 PM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • I have seven children so I know that all children don't act or think alike. Here's my advice from a parent who's been there....have one last talk with her about getting her act together and being responsible for coming home straight after school. No questions, no arguing - not debatable. There's a reasoon why she's choosing to disobey the rules and finding out why would be the first step in the right direction...If she chooses to not come home after school, then you will call the cops and report her as a runaway. Or do what I did, have her wait at the school until someone could come and pick her up. Little things with teenagers blossom into something totally different IF the little things aren't addressed properly. GL
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 1:37 PM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • do not give up. she is just testing you and you better meet her in the middle. i was a hard child to deal with at that age and got pregant at 14 and my parents flipped because they thought i was perfect but i was unhandedly bad. i married my babies daddy 24 years ago and i don't regreat it and i know now what my family was talking about. it is not easy. i have raised a teenage girl and she gave me hell but she turned out fine in the end but i had to keep a strong eye on her and had to be very strick and stick to my word on what i was and was not will ing to deal with.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:52 PM on Jul. 19, 2009

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