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How do I deal with an out of control 4 yr. old grandson?

He's so obnoxious that it's hard being around him. He's straight up mean. He tells his mom he's gonna kill her, she's not his boss. He'll argue about everything. He screams at the top of his lungs in public and it's so embarassing. He intentionally destroys everything he can. Throws things at the tv, scratches our cars, stomps his toys. EVERYTHING. He says he's gonna hurt his little brother(1mth). He's been like this since he was able to walk and talk. We've tried spanking, time out, taking away privilages, talking to him. I don't know what else to do. If someone has any suggestions please, please help me. I'll try anything. We can't take him grocery shopping, pay bills, doctor visits or anywhere without him acting out. HELP PLEASE!

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Asked by mommaagain1256 at 1:04 PM on Jul. 16, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (7)
  • It sounds like ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder). Talk with his mom( or whoever his guardian is) to make an appointment to have him evaluated.


    Answer by Anonymous at 1:10 PM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • I agree that he needs to be evaluated by a professional

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:14 PM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • I would take him and have him evaluated because the sooner you get it under control the better because the older they are the HARDER they are to control (trust me I know). You also need to be careful what people say in front of him and what he watches on t.v. ect.

    Answer by Tdaycare6678 at 1:43 PM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • Honestly I thought when I ready the title of this post we had something in common because we have a 4 year old who is extremely crazy sometimes, but I'm so sorry that your grandson reacts this way. I think either there's a chemical imbalance and he needs some medical attention or that something happened with him prior to this point: maybe an angry parent, bad daycare experience, etc. I hope everything works out and I will keep you in my prayers!

    Answer by KatrinaBSmith at 9:38 PM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • He might benefit from some play therapy with a psychologist. He can get his feelings out through play sessions. Does he watch shows or movies that are violent? Does he see someone at home acting violently. It really does sound like he needs some help! Good Luck! and God Bless!

    Answer by LovetoTeach247 at 9:39 PM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • It sounds to me like there is something seriously wrong with that child, could be emotional or could be physical(in his brain). I wouldn't wait on it the sooner that you get it taken care of the better off everyone will be. If he is making death threats the sooner is n't quick enough.

    Answer by homealone_10 at 12:39 AM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • I would suggest the same thing that everyone else is...find a good counselor/therapist and get this diagnosed and find out what you have to do. My mom adopted 4 kids that lied and stsole things all the time. They were on state medical so she went to the appt.s that she was told to go to with them, and they kept saying that the kids were ADD/ADHD, but even with the medicine they still acted up (not this bad mind you). She finally took them to a therapist that she had to pay out of her own pocket (because she wouldn't excpet state), and she said that it sounded like RAD (Reactive Attatchment Disorder). She referred my parents to Nancy Thomas, they read books and watched DVD's about what this lady did, and it fit her kids to a T. No pills were neccessary for the kids just some consistent love and parenting (if you look into her you will know what I mean). My mom and dad tried the things she suggested, and are happy again :)

    Answer by mammacjjc85 at 2:31 AM on Jul. 17, 2009

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