Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

my dh's STEP grandmother dies

he hasn't seen this lady in 17 years, she never made any kind of attempt to come to our wedding or to meet our children...well she died today & her funeral is saturday my mil wants my dh to go all the way to another state to be a pul bearer for this lady and the funeral is on the same day as my dd's bday party.... i told my dh to do what he thinks is right but his mom is trying to make him feel guilty for choosing his daughter's bday party over his step-gmaw's you think she needs to grow up or am i being mean?


Asked by Anonymous at 2:19 PM on Jul. 16, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • If he wasn't that close to her, then I don't think he should feel obligated to be there. I've had family die that I barely knew and yes it's sad but my mom didn't expect me to be there.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:19 PM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • I think that if there were plans already for your dd's party--then stay home. If it didn't happen to be on that day then I would say do it for the rest of the family...but sheesh. Tough one. I wouldn't do it. Good luck.

    Answer by LaceyAM at 2:21 PM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • i'm NOT going, i didn't know this lady, my dh don't want to go either but his mom is giving him a guilt trip about it... my dh is very close with our dd & he don't want to micc her party

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:24 PM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • its not like its him mawmaw that died its his step meaning get her sons n bio family to do. you already have plan he should stay home with his daughter

    Answer by ggiovanni at 2:24 PM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • heck no I'd not go. 17 yrs she snubbed he and his family and now they want him to honor her by being pallbearer? Nope. They will ask someone at the funeral to do it. Anyway, they usually just slide the casket on a cart and they wheel it nowadays. They don't even need pallbearers anymore

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:24 PM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • Nope I wouldn't go either because she snubbed the rest of the family for 17 years. She can find another pallbearer who was close to her. This is a tough one. Good luck

    Answer by pnwmom at 2:32 PM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • Wow, some of you are just hateful. I would go. Your daughter will have many birthdays GOD willing. I'm sure she died just to piss you off.


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:01 PM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • i'm not mad about the whole thing i just don't think his mother should make him feel guilty for not wanting to go to another state to see some woman who he hasn't had any contact with in 17 years on the same day as his daughter's bday party.....

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:04 PM on Jul. 16, 2009

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN