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My fiances' 2 yr old won't do as told, no matter his punishment. what should we do???

He picks at a corner in his room pealing the paint off. you can spank him, put him in timeout, etc. and he still won't quit.
He also back talks, and no matter the method used to correct him, he doesn't care.
His biological mother is in jail. could that have something to do with it?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:22 PM on Jul. 16, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (7)
  • Terrible two's from a broken home... Good luck, it will take some time
    danichaos

    Answer by danichaos at 5:27 PM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • I've never punished a two year old. There brain isn't wired for punishment and they wouldn't understand. Why don't you try redirecting him, or better yet, put a dresser or night stand or some sort of large furniture in the corner so he can't get to it? Even better then that, why not repair it so it's not peeling?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:29 PM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • That child has already known a lot of sadness and confusion and he's only 2. I'd say cut him a break. Actually more specifically give him a lot of love. If he's doing something that upsets you, get him out of that situation and say hey let's go to the park. Or wherever. Just try to be a loving, positive influence in his life.
    CariO.

    Answer by CariO. at 5:38 PM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • I think some understanding and patience is really needed with this 2 year old. Mom in jail at 2 yrs old, I can't imagine things have been "perfect" til this point in other area's as well.. Just try to be more understanding. I am sure its hard - distract him, draw a picture together. Sticker charts for good behavior, helping with dishes, brushes his teeth - kids love to put sticker on a chart - fun things that distract attention. Maybe he's only used to getting negative attention by now??
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 5:38 PM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • A two-year-old does understand cause and effect. Punishment does work but it has to be consistent. "Nothing Works" means you've been trying everything and he has no idea what to expect. Consistency is king in the toddler and preschool years.

    I agree, give him a "Good Job" chart to reward good behaviors. I started one for my daughter and she loved it. We have this one and she can "read" the pictures to know what her stars are for...
    http://www.amazon.com/I-Can-Do-Reward-Chart/dp/B001BX0BF4/ref=sr_1_6?ie=UTF8&s=toys-and-games&qid=1247781943&sr=8-6
    He is not too young to have "chores" like helping to pick up his toys or helping to brush his teeth.

    And try the book "1,2,3 Magic" to help with the bad behaviors. I started using it and have been astonished with the results.
    kaycee14

    Answer by kaycee14 at 6:10 PM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • Has anyone tried spending extra time with him, he's probably crying out for attention. Sometimes at this age I don't think they think about if they're gonna get positive or negative attention. You should also talk to his pediatrician they could refer you to a behavior specialist or something. You said he talks back, so hopefully he's not autistic or anything. Good luck. It definitely sounds like he's gonna need special attention.
    luvmyangels3

    Answer by luvmyangels3 at 6:33 PM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • I assume that you are not a mom yourself and that your DH just received custody as by your question this is what it seems. As such you should REALLY consider a parenting class.

    He's two cut him a break! Spanking is ridiculous, remember no matter what you are SM not MOM. Dad has the right and RESPONSIBILITY to punish him if he sees fit.

    Give the poor kid some activities and if you actually care PLAY with him and one more thing

    Why did you not fix the peeling paint? Paint does not just start peeling! Any peeling paint is a hazard and should be fixed at the first sign! Poor little guy.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:06 PM on Jul. 16, 2009

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