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Daughter's friends, advice please

Thank you in advance for your thoughts on this. I have a 10 year old girl that has been playing with the same next door neighbor girls (2) for the last four years. I honestly thought all three girls were best of friends until someone else came along. These neighbor girls spent all (99.9% of their off- school hours) in my house. I fed them, I entertained them, baby sat them for free all day long for 4 years and suddenly a family with children moves in with them and these girls whom I thought were my daughter's friends stopped playing with my daughter. They no longer come and ask to play with my daughter. To make a long story short, I have allowed my daughter to go over to their house just to show them that even though they have a new friend, my daughter is okay with it and is willing to share the friend. This new family moved in 2 months ago. I am feeling resentful towards these girls. Why, please advice. Thank you!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:54 PM on Jul. 16, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (4)
  • I know what you are going through. You feel this way because you know it's wrong for them to just snub your dd or brush them off. Is there anyway that you can talk to the parents? I have gone through a tough time with my little 10 year old for the past few years with "friends' like you dd's and have had very similiar situations that have escalated to where i have even thought about filing harrssment charges. If you need to talk or vent to someone who knows what you are going through, please don't hesitate to pm me. It's tough watching your dd go through this, i know, but there are things that you can do! Like i said if you need to talk, i am here.

    Answer by 4puddintaters at 8:50 PM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • My DD has gone threw and still goes threw something like that. It usally is thats I will hang out with you and be your friend out of school, But in school i dont want nothing to do with you.... I tell my dd that is not what a friend IS. and she doen't want her to be her friend.. When this other girl will be mean to other girls. My DD will look at them and say you can play with me.. but like the above mom says if you need to rant please do im good listner.. my little girl is 11. Just keep telling your little one you dont treat your friends like that. are these new neibors older then your dd,her friend. Might even sugest to your DD to call one of her other friends over for sleep over.

    Answer by twistedcandy at 9:33 AM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • do you have any idea why your daughter is being excluded?

    Answer by rkoloms at 7:51 PM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • Have your daughter go and play with the new kids too. They are all young, and friends at this age come and go. "Best Friend" is something a lot of kids have one day then have some new best friend a few days later. Remember, these are your daughters friends. You may have invested a lot of time with them, but if they don't want to play they don't want to play. There is nothing you can do about it. The last thing you want is to be "that mom". The one who forces kids to play together when they would rather do something else. Those new kids are new, kids always like finding new people to play with. Maybe the newness will wear off and the girls will go back to playing with your daughter, or she will become friends with them also and her group of friends will just grow bigger.

    Answer by MomOfJandM at 1:54 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

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