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how do you revive a 23 yr. old marriage that;s on the rocks?

my husband says he's not attracted to me anymore..we just started counseling but can you really fix something like this?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:13 PM on Jun. 22, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • You need to see each other anew to start with. When you can see eachother without seeing all the problems from the past written on the others face then you can start to talk. And when you talk really listen. Make listening be more important then talking. When you begin to hear eachother then your relationship begins...begins to change into what you want it to be and what your partner wants it to be. Good luck.
    moonkist

    Answer by moonkist at 3:34 PM on Jun. 22, 2008

  • i think counseling is a good place to start. i also think that people aren't necessarily meant to be together forever and that the expectation that you would want to stay with someone for 23 years is a bit unrealistic. 100 years ago, people didn't live as long as we do now. i would go to counseling, but if you or your partner is not happy, i would not be afraid to start over.
    anniekelleher

    Answer by anniekelleher at 4:43 PM on Jun. 22, 2008

  • well, i have never been in a relationship for nearly that long, im only 23 yeras old! but....i find that a lot of times as the spark fades, seeing eachother doing well at something you dont normally see is a turn on...for example, visiting my man at work and seeing him coaching mentally retarded adults in baseball or helping them with some other task makes me look at him in a whole new light all over again...being your own person and excelling at what you do is sexier than anything else...it will make you seem like that cute girl he ran into all those years ago
    LoriaAnn

    Answer by LoriaAnn at 5:34 PM on Jun. 22, 2008

  • 23 years...wow congrats. that is a feat in itself. well, i think that you should ask yourself...do you want to make it work. what are the major issues? Are they something that you can meet each other 50/50 on? attraction is spirital and not just physical. dont get me wrong..physical is part of it. some young thang gave him a little attention and he is feeling all young an spry.

    my uncle went through this..he is headed to his 3rd relationship since his divorce. one being a marriage.

    anyways...try to get deeper into the attraction issue. if it is purley physical...say goodbye.

    I read your post to my husband...he said...doesnt sound like your hubby is a NICE person.

    respect is part of our vows. he must show them to you..at all times.

    K
    CoolYourWorld

    Answer by CoolYourWorld at 9:16 PM on Jun. 22, 2008

  • My marraige ended after 20 years as well. I think it's just a getting old thing. If you want to talk with someone who's gone through it, please send me a message and ask anything you'd like. That's what cafemom is for; for us to meet, discuss and learn.
    christybearskn

    Answer by christybearskn at 10:48 PM on Jun. 23, 2008

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