Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

alcholic husband what do i do

i am married to an alcoholic and want to leave. i know i cannot fix him but he had told me that i am not supportive of him enough for him to quit and then he tells me that he will never be able to quit but wants to get down to two or three days a week. what do i do there are children involved and i am just so lost right now. we live in a very small town and his parents think he should go to rehab but he refuses to even attend an aa meeting saying they don't work and that he can do it if he has my support. we've been together for 9 years and i've heard all of this before, it's a circle he goes from being drunk all the time on whiskey to just drinking beer 3-4 days a week and then before you know it somehting has happened and he's back to drinking whiskey all the time. 3 weeks ago i told him if he didn't quit drinking whiskey the kids and i where gone 3 days later he picked the bottle back up saying i was stressing him out help!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:25 PM on Jul. 16, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Well you seem to know what you need to do, now you just have to do it. He won't quit untill he wants to and he doesn't want to
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 10:29 PM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • if u are married or family u can sign him in urself weather or not he wants to but he wnt change unless he wants it himself
    momatonly16

    Answer by momatonly16 at 10:30 PM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS DRINKING!! Until he takes responsibility for his drinking, and gets help, he's not going to quit. I know how difficult it is, but you probably do need to leave....for your children and yourself. You don't want them growing up thinking this is appropriate behavior, or resenting both of you for letting them grow up in an alcoholic home. At this point, all you can do is take care of your children and yourself. You both deserve better. And, may I suggest you try Al-Anon? You probably already know that they help family members and loved ones of alcoholics.

    Good luck to you!!
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 10:32 PM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • You can't help someone that doesn't wants to be helped and all the bullshit he tells you that you stress him out and blah blah blah it's just excuses for him to drink more, if you are really serious about leaving him then I would just leave and maybe then his eyes will open up and he will realize what he lost and if they don't open up then there is no hope for him until he decides to put down that bottle, I wish you the best of luck just stay strong

    looovemybabies

    Answer by looovemybabies at 10:40 PM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • Smash one of the glass bottles over his head after u've packed up the car, then he'll get the picture
    mumma28

    Answer by mumma28 at 11:01 PM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • he's an alcoholic. He has to do it on his own. It's not your place to help him to do it. HE has to do it and not say you are not supportive enough (any excuse is a good excuse to an alcoholic who is looking for one). It's possible you may have to leave and tell him when you are sober then come get us and we'll come home.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:24 AM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • It's really sad that you're still debating whether u should leave him and what to do when u know the danger u run. (and ur children.) Stop being selfish and don't think about what u want but think about the safety of your kids. AT least do it for them. I hope u do.
    ilovemel

    Answer by ilovemel at 12:32 AM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • Your responsibility is making sure your children are in a safe environment and having them around a drunk is not a stable secure environment. you do not have to leave your husband by divorcing him but it is wise that you and the kids leave in order to prevent them from turning out like him...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 5:50 PM on Jul. 17, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN