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For those of you who are part of the adoptiong roups on CM..

How often to I post there since everybody seems to think I'm active 24/7?

I JUST recently posted one in the Birthmom's group.. I think the last post I posted was...May 16th.. since the new upgrade I couldn't see back farther.. but I have only 2 posts.. the rest nothing.

Again I'm in a private group of maybe... 10 active people in it. Other than that.. this is only place I'm actually pretty active. Even the private group isn't very active.

By the way.. I'm not completely anti-adoption.. believe it or not. It's just in serious need of reform, AND needs to be educated FULLY.. not one-sidely (if that's even a word).

Answer Question

Asked by rainfalls at 11:09 PM on Jul. 16, 2009 in Adoption

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (29)
  • Rain, I agree with you that there need to be reforms. I've been wondering how can we move beyond just talking about ideas, and get to really bringing about some change? I know we'll never all agree on every detail, but there are some things we all agree on. That would be a great start. How can we make sure unethical "professionals" are reported and put out of business? Does anyone have any ideas?

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 11:12 PM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • I didn't know that when you selected a "best answer" that it closed your question. I opened this one up because I'm getting sick of the way I'm being treated here. I'm here for support and to give support.

    This is the only place I have to express my feelings about my adoption.. to even really talk about it. If you don't like me for whatever reason.. don't respond to my questions. I wish I could to the same for you, but since you post anon.. I can't.

    Answer by rainfalls at 11:13 PM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • I don't even know how to begin! Ahh.. I just wish I could find a job at an agency.. you know? Like be a counselor.. just so I could educate every women that walks in there. I just wish I could let these girls know what they are getting into. I know that it won't always change their mind, and I'm ok with that.

    I just know that I wish I would have known what I was getting into.

    I was thinking about going to my lawyer who handled my adoption.. maybe even some angecies around here.. to start a support group for couples/women who are considering placing or have placed. I think that would be great... if only I could find the time.. I may have to wait until next summer when school's out!

    Answer by rainfalls at 11:16 PM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • I would also welcome pap's.. and adoptive parents.. I think if we're all in it together the better for the adoptee!

    I just wish we could build friendships on here.. instead of attacking one another when one doesn't agree with the other (I know, I'm guilty of it, too).

    This just takes too much energy! Our main focus needs to be the child.. bettering the child.. AND not assuming that all birth mothers, adoptive mothers, adoptees.. are the same. We're all different individuals with different reasonings for our decisions.

    Answer by rainfalls at 11:19 PM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • Rain, I just realized that the question I asked in my response could potentially hijack your post. I will post it as a separate question. Sorry! ;-)

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 11:24 PM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • Oh no.. it's ok!!! Haha.. my post is actually pretty pointless.

    Answer by rainfalls at 11:29 PM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • Rain, you mentioned that you would like to be able to help by working at an agency or joining a group. I'm working toward an R.N. degree and will hopefully work in L&D. I want to make sure that women's rights are respected in the hospital setting when the staff knows they are considering placing a baby for adoption. That is why I asked my question a while back about how emoms were treated.

    I agree with everything you are saying, and hope that we can all get to the point where we can each be a resource for each other.

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 11:29 PM on Jul. 16, 2009

  • rain, I enjoy your posts and this is the only place that I "talk" to you. I am not a birth mother, so I am not in your groups, however, adoption is at the core of both of our hearts, and I am always glad to see your posts.


    Answer by doodlebopfan at 12:09 AM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • quoting doodlebopfan - rain, I enjoy your posts and this is the only place that I "talk" to you.

    there are several women here that I don't find in the adoption groups, which is why I come here so often too.

    Rain - Looks like you've got a couple of fans here.  And, I agree with everything you've said.

    I love it when all triad members get to talk, otherwise, what's the point? There are plenty of people I only get to talk to here in this section. I think it's so sad that there are so many nasty women here  that sit here like hidden spiders waiting to pounce with their venom. They ruin what could be some good constructive dialogue.


    Answer by onethentwins at 1:02 AM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • Honestly, I was quite surprised when that person made that comment. Obviously, you must have hit a nerve with them and they want to silence you. I have decided that sometimes nasty comments do mean that at least people are hearing you....and that is a sign of some progress.

    I recently reported a mean anonymous comment someone made recently and Cafemom removed it quickly. I have grown so weary of the anonymous nasties and I think the only way to get rid of them is to show them no attention, totally ignore them AND report them when they say ugly things.

    Answer by Southernroots at 1:38 AM on Jul. 17, 2009

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