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How do you not let it get to you?

This question is about family and my husband. How do you not let it get to you when everyone picks on you about your parenting skills. I (Like many first time new mothers) run at every little sound I hear my daughter makes and watch her for any signs or symptoms of sickness. Now you have to understand I am a first time mother and Gwendolyn was born a month early and was suppose to be a twin but the twin didn't attach in the womb right and I miscarried it. So I am not afraid to call the dr at any hr with any question or worry I have pertaining to my daughter (I feel I am paying him SO shouldn't he be available for any questions I have about her health) My mom, grandmother and husband all make comments to me about how silly I am about it and how I am taking it to extremes and to be honest they make me feel like a bad mother for caring about my daughter and her health. I mean I am 28 and have had 2 miscarriages and 11 surgeries.

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Asked by Faeriebrat at 12:31 AM on Jul. 17, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (13)
  • I think u r doing a great job and just think everytime they get to u the welfare of ur baby! If ur baby didnt have u then who would it have to depend on? You are great for doing what u do, some mothers are too lazy.

    Answer by kirsty_mcgrail at 12:33 AM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • you are fine. We did the same thing when we had our first baby

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:34 AM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • I have had more things wrong with me that required a specialist to take care and people haven't heard of it.. So I don't feel it's out of the realm of possibility that my daughter might have my wonderful ability to have stuff wrong with her that is not in the norm. I don't feel I am being a bad mother by worrying and jumping up and running when she cries. I mean you can't spoil a 7 week old by holding her.. So I guess my question is how do you not let it get to you when your own "support system" of husband and mother openly mock you not only to your face but to anyone who will listen. They make me feel like I am being a "bad" parent by being overly attentive to my daughter. How do I get over it? How do I get them to stop? It is seriously sending me into a depression and making me want to avoid them when I can. I am worried it will hurt my marriage and my friendship with my mom. So Lost..Any help would be appreciated.

    Answer by Faeriebrat at 12:36 AM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • Their will always be someone to comment on what you do as a parent. I get a lot of crap from my MIL about being a lousey housekeeper. Ok I work 40 hours a week, volunteer for the pta,go to school 1/2 time and home school my oldest kids. Did I mention my husband is disabled but can still wash a dish. What prey tell, would they like me to do, cut sleep from my routine. Don't worry about calling the Dr. and what they say, it is you who would have to live with the consequenses if something was truely wrong and you buckled to the preasure of everyone else. You will loosen up after a couple kids. Maybe. Even if you don't their is nothing wrong with being precautious. Maggie

    Answer by goddessmom at 12:36 AM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • No I don't think you're a bad mother at all. Even without what you yourself have been through being a new mother is very very stressful. As your grow in parenting you will learn to let people make their remarks and criticisms and you will make your choices based on many things in your life. Trust your gut instincts. Discussing your choices with those known to critisize you will just bring more. I'd keep your mommmy discussions here or with your age's best friends. Trust yourself the most. Your mother, mil trusted themselves the most when they were new and young moms.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:40 AM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • Oh i called my doctor literally EVERYDAy. That's what they get paid for so don't worry. They understand new mommies are like that. I know i was and i didn't care what people think. And tell them to get off your back. Your just being a MOM

    Answer by ilovemel at 12:42 AM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • worrying about your baby so much just means you are a great caring mother, you do what makes you comfterbal and happy, and just let things go into one ear and out the other when someone has a comment, cuz trust me people will always have something to say weather it's family or stranger, so keep up the good work your a great momma


    Answer by looovemybabies at 12:52 AM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • It sounds like you've been through a lot & I'm suprised that your family doesn't understand why you are so protective. I was the same way with my first. I didn't want to put him down & they're were people that said I was spoiling him, but first of all YOU CANT SPOIL a baby,& my firstborn is so good & smart. I wouldn't have changed a thing. You sound like your just being a good mommy. I would only listen to people that are being supportive of you, it sounds like you deserve it. Good luck!!

    Answer by luvmyangels3 at 12:56 AM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • When my son was first born I ran to his room every little noise I hear. Even if I knew it was just him breathing. i would stare at him sleeping just to make sure his chest was moving, I slept with my glasses on so i could open my eyes and see him clearly no matter what. I would get so worried when he would cry and nothing I did worked. I called his doctor almost everyday with a new question. My husband his mother my mother all my friends and my brother all picked on me. They said I was being too over protective of him. But after awhile my mother told me how she was when my oldest brother was born. And she was the same way. All new moms are like this. I know it's hard to deal with but when someone starts in on you just remind yourself you are doing what is best for your child. That's what I did and it helped me out a lot. Plus my son's doctor told me that i wasn't the first mom to be calling him everyday and won't be the last

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:58 AM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • Listen to your gut. I always say it won't lead you astray. I always err to the side of caution rather than assume everything is ok and the one time it isn't, there is a problem. Call me overprotective. I call it, caring about my child. If anyone has a problem with that, then that is THEIR problem.
    You are doing a great job. Keep it up!

    Answer by Melindakc at 2:12 AM on Jul. 17, 2009

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