Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I'm married but want a female experience?

I am marrie for about 5 years together for 9, don't want a 3 some but I've always, ALWAYS wanted to be with a woman. Is that ok? Should I behind his back, should I tell him? Should I invite him? Don't know how to make this urge go away I've had it for a long long time. Does anyone have any suggestions? Help please?!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:53 AM on Jul. 17, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • If you love your husband and don't want any future problems in your marriage, then you should talk to him about it. If you do it behind his back, it could lead to more marital problems than it's worth. Maybe bring up the idea in a casual conversation to see what his views are on it. You may be surprised to find out that he is accepting of it, but even if he isn't, it's better to tell him if you want to keep your marriage going strong. Good luck.

    Answer by JDsWifey at 2:57 AM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • Idk! I only felt like that when I was a drunk but not when I was sober! I say go for it and dont tell your him!


    Answer by Anonymous at 2:58 AM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • when you start doing things behind someones back they usually always find out and when they do it usually turns ugly and in a marriage there should be no secrets

    Answer by looovemybabies at 3:05 AM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • no. talk with him about it.

    for us we turned to swinging and have enjoyed 4 yrs of it!

    Answer by queenamy at 3:12 AM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • Well, definitely don't sneak around and not tell him. That is sure to lead to major problems. I would sit down and talk to him. Maybe you can find a way to subtly bring it up - maybe tell him you read a question on here or someone you work with or something asked your opinion on this and you want to know what he thinks. Then, you can at least feel him out to know if he's open to the idea at all. If he's not open to the idea, then you have to decide if it's really worth risking your marriage to try it. If he is open to the idea, then you can tell him you want to do it and you two can discuss some ground rules.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 7:39 AM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • Did you have this feeling before or after you married your dh? You know your dh better than anyone on this board and if having a relationship / threesome is something he would go for, then do what you think you need to do...

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 12:26 PM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • marriage is between a wife and a husband. when u got married u were supposed to forsake all others. you're going to destroy your marriage, dont do it. it's not worth it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:32 PM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • Whatever you do, do NOT go behind his back.

    Why did you get married if you always had this strong urge?

    Regardless, you are married now and need to honor your husband.

    If you value your husband, don't cheat on him.

    If you think he'd be open to the idea, discuss "swinging" with him. Be aware of the impact this could have on your relationship as a couple--swinging is not for everybody.

    If he is not open to swinging, drop it and erase this urge. Focus on your husband--you chose to be with him for life.

    Answer by Mousuke at 3:33 PM on Jul. 17, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.