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Is it normal?

Is it normal that I love going home and being alone? I mean yes I get lonely and would like to have a relationship with someone, but at the end of the day I want to sleep in my own bed, watch what I want on tv and just lounge around if I want too. I'm recently separated and the reason I ask if this is normal is that I have a couple of friends that are going through divorces too and they just went from one man to another, like it would have killed them to be alone. I don't want to end up so comfortable being alone that I never want to get married again, but right now this is kind of nice, is that weird?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:28 AM on Jul. 17, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • It's not only NORMAL, it's HEALTHY. Learning to rely on yourself, learning to be at peace with yourself and learning who you really are as a singular person are all very important things. YOu need to know these things before you get into any relationships. Knowing yourself will help you make the right choices down the road.
    Take your time. There's no hurry (I waited a year after my divorce to start dating). When the right person comes along, you'll be ready.

    Answer by companygoddess at 8:34 AM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • sounds normal to me, if my husband & i got a divorce i wouldn't want to go with another man for a while

    Answer by josiesmommy00 at 8:34 AM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • I got divorced almost 6 yrs ago, and I felt like that for a long time. I think it's normal. I'm now in a relationship with a great guy, and I would love nothing more than to come home to him at the end of the day (he's 611 miles away right at this moment, so I can't.) I enjoyed being single for all those yrs, doing what I wanted, cooking what I wanted, watching what I wanted. But I now enjoy spending time with him, watching what he wants to watch, cooking what he wants to eat, all that. You're just healing from the relationship that you're getting out of, and once you've done that, you'll be ready to move on.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 8:37 AM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • you are not being alone
    you are spending time with yourself

    you sound like you are in a healthy place

    Answer by boredmom44 at 8:40 AM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • I hope it's normal. I did that. I think all people should take time to be alone for a while. It gives you a better perspective on things. Getting back into a relationship immediately after a breakup isn't healthy imo. You are doing the right thing. The women who are doing the rebound thing will probably end up getting hurt all over again. Why not take time to be alone and heal then go back out there if they want, like you are doing? You are a wise women

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:02 AM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • Absolutely not! You are doing the healthiest thing for yourself. You are thinking clear enough to know you need physical and emotional space from your current relationship for you. Professionals recommend a year before making any important decisions after a loss (divorce or death of a spouse). It's the only way to know who YOU really are outside of that relationship. If you are running from man to man, it's called "rebounding" but nobody uses the terms anymore. Since you are not yet divorced, wait to start counting that year. You're still in the relationship as long as you are separated. It's refreshing to see a person who is taking time to heal so she can be who she really is and know what (and who) she really wants in the next relationship. And you probably will be ready in time.

    Answer by happi-ladi at 9:05 AM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • Thanks for all the positve feedback you guys, I really apprecieate it. My mom has been alone for so long that I don't believe she would know how to be with someone again. I know there's still time for me to have a family, I'm only 30, but I just don't want to get so comfortable being alone that I lose that desire to be with someone. What's a good time period for something like this?

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:07 AM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • A good time period .....

    when and if you ever want to share your life with another man...that will be the right time for you

    more people (not just women) should be comfortable enough in their own skin to be with themselves and not look for another to fill a void after the loss of one relationship

    you are doing great, and a good example of a healthy adult for your kids


    Answer by boredmom44 at 11:00 AM on Jul. 17, 2009

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