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How can I make him realize?

Ok here's the deal...My ex husbands daughter, who I am VERY close too is really going through a rough time right now. Her dad is so consumed with taking care of his mother that she is getting pushed out and made to feel like she's not important at all. I totally understand how she feels because it's one of the very same reasons I left him. Now don't get me wrong, his mother did have a stroke and while I think it's ok for him to take care of her, it is NOT right to push your daughter aside to cater to your mothers every need. She's not so bad that she has to be watched every moment, it's just that she's so stubborn and wants her way all the time, and he lets her have it. My stepdaughter told me last night on the way back from church that she wants to live with me, she can't live like this anymore. I feel so bad for her because I had the choice to leave, but she doesn't. How can I make him see how miserable she is? cont.....

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:01 AM on Jul. 17, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • I would let her live with me in a heart beat if he would let her. He doesn't work, they live off of his mothers check and welfare, and I just could not live like that anymore. He sold our home to move in her home and then she wouldn't eve let us have the big bedroom, so we were stuck in the corner of his mothers house while I worked and payed the bills. HIs mother is SO aggervating and has to have every thing her way or no way at all. Poor kid, she can't even go to the bathroom without his mother following her and constantly asking what she's doing. I just wish I could make him see that he pushed me away, there is no need to push his daughter away too. Anyway, any advice would be greatly apprecieated!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:03 AM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • Just tell him. Maybe he's not aware of what he's doing.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:08 AM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • Take the opportunity to help her deal with her father. Talk to her about asking him what she needs (time, attention like an evening(s) together. She can start by asking if he can make some time for dinner this week..."Dad, I know granmother needs you right now. I miss you.". Accusing someone of neglecting you only puts them on the defensive. She can ask him if she can give him some space by staying with you for awhile. This poor girl isn't up for the task of telling Daddy he's a Momma's Boy! If you and he have a civil relationship, tell him she has expressed a desire to stay with you and you know she misses him.. Point out he is her #1 choice but let him know if she asked to stay with you, it's ok with you for awhile.
    happi-ladi

    Answer by happi-ladi at 9:16 AM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • Thats good advice happi, thank you!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:17 AM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • maybe you should talk to social services. If the needs of his daughter aren't being met, then could it be arranged for her to live with you?
    LadyAronna

    Answer by LadyAronna at 12:06 PM on Jul. 17, 2009

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