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Am I being unfair?

My DH and I are going to find out our babies gender, and not tell anyone til our 3-D ultra sound a few weeks later (which my family is invited to) and they are all pitching a fit because we arent telling them til then. Does this seem fair to you?
Also, I wrote a blog on my myspace page letting everyone know we would be finding out the gender, and explained we would find out first and tell everyone after the 3-d ultra sound, and invited some CLOSE friends to watch the ultra sound online while it was happening, and stated that if I wasnt CLOSE friends with someone there were not welcome to watch and that I wasnt going to give them the info and now people are mad about that to. Is this selfish of me to do? I feel like I let alot of people be apart of my 1st pregnancy, and that I am also letting them be a big part of this one to, by me and my DH want something for us...

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:53 PM on Jul. 17, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • It's your body, your baby, and your family. You have the right to tell them no. I don't think you are being unfair.

    Answer by kemclaughlin at 3:55 PM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • Exactly! I agree with kemclaughlin.
    It's your baby, your family, and finding out the gender can be a very bonding experience between you and your SO. Nope, it's not unfair, and it's not like they won't be finding out until the baby is actually born. They just have to wait a few weeks.
    They need to get over it! Explain that this is a moment that you want to cherish with your SO and bask in finding out the gender between you two, and in a few weeks' time, EVERYONE will be in on it.

    Answer by K_Sawyer at 3:57 PM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • People are funny about pregnancies. We found out the sex with our second and told NO ONE until the birth! It was so much fun telling people, yes we know if it's a boy or girl, but we're not telling!! I do think for you to state if you are not a close friend you are nt invited, was rude. You could have just left it at, 'we are inviting some close friends.' Other than that one thing, everyone just needs to learn to deal with it. It is your pregnancy!!

    Answer by micheledo at 3:59 PM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • I'm a little lost. Why didn't you just wait to tell everyone who wasn't going to be included until you intended them to know? Not to be rude, but why tell everyone that we know but we aren't telling, then tell them that only certain people were going to see the ultrasound? why not just tell those involved as you want them to be involved?

    Maybe it would have spared some feelings?
    You can do what you want of course, it's your pregnancy, but to make a big production to point out that others will be involved and you won't be, that's hurtful.

    Answer by LadyAronna at 5:57 PM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • Yeah, maybe you should of just not of said certain people are invited. Beside those rooms only hold so many people. When we found out what the sex wast we only told our parents and my aunt, then we threw a "Guess what we are going to have!" party. When people came in the door they wrote down what they thought the baby is and then we had a drawing. The prize was boy things like a foot ball and base ball, water guns, candy and silly coupons for babysitting and buying a car and stuff! It was fun to let friends and family know and finding out the sex at the same time.

    For my next child I want to do the party again, but I want the doctor to give us the sex in an envelope then open it at the party. So even we wouldn't know until then!

    I was surprised at how many people said we should of waited to find out until he was born! Almost as many who wanted to know right away. You do whatever YOU want to do.

    Answer by crystal1480 at 6:01 PM on Jul. 17, 2009

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