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I think my 7 year old daughter is depressed.

I work 5 days a week 8-5. So DD stays at her dads house during the week, since his mother is home to watch the kids & will do it for free. Also, his school district is MUCH better than mine, & it makes everyone's life a lot easier when she can go to a fantastic school around the corner from her dad's house. So, we made the agreement w/ no lawyers to let him be the primary parent. I think i made a HUGE mistake. Don't get me wrong, he is a great dad & can manuver his schedule around for the kids (he has 2 others) but, i think my daughter is depressed that we spend less time together. She called me crying this morning because she had a dream that i told her i was going to die in 3 weeks (SCARY!) she was ALL bent about it. When she is at my house, she is attached to me & freaks out if i am not RIGHT next to her. I think no being around mom is making her depressed, she is always sad. How can i fix this?


Asked by Anonymous at 3:54 PM on Jul. 17, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (7)
  • All little seven year old girls need their moms. When I was little, I wanted my mom over my dad. Its hard to talk to dads about troubles when they don't have a clue about our female make-up, even at seven. If it were me, I'd go see her every chance I could, when I wasn't working. I'd take her out, by herself, and spend all the time I could with her. Maybe she needs to talk and open up to you. Maybe she feels rejected or pushed aside. She needs you and has some concerns, that she obviously doesn't feel comfortable telling you over the phone. You need to go spend some time with her and get her to open up to you. Then instead of discussing it with her dad, contemplate it over in your own mind and see what you think should be done about it first. Maybe she's afraid you'll discuss it with her dad and doesn't want you to. You don't know what he's telling her, nor how he's treating her. Tread softly and be wise.

    Answer by 1daughter5sons at 4:56 PM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • You need to get her some help. She is not dealing well with this and she needs to talk to someone. Call her dad and tell her how concerned you are and that she needs to talk to someone.

    Answer by kemclaughlin at 3:56 PM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • She always seems sad, & unhappy. It's just killing me. I don't have anything bad to say about dad, going back to court would be AWEFUL! Dad disagree's but i really think something needs to change, but i don't know how to change it. Dad gets rude when i bring it up, his parenting pride is through the roof! Is there anything i can do for her? Maybe counseling?

    OP here


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:56 PM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • definitely suggest counseling. it can be hard not having a mom around when you're a little girl. tell dad to chill out, it has nothing to do with his parenting skills, a girl just needs her momma.

    Answer by Wheepingchree at 4:01 PM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • I would tell her dad when his parenting pride gets in the way that what is going on IS NOT ABOUT HIM AND HIS PARENTING! That you think he is doing a great job, but you can't deny that something is bothering OUR daughter! This is about her and she needs help.


    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 4:04 PM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • Something is not quite right if she acts this way. Everything with her father may not be as great as you think. Could this be why he is against seeking help? You should take her for counseling!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:18 PM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • what if she could stay the night with you, then you drop her off either at school, or to stay with grandma for the day. and you tell the schools that she lives with her dad so she continues to go to that school? try it for a while and see how she does. make sure she is having a say in everything that happens with her and make sure when you bring this up with her dad that you tell him that you think he is doing a great job and this has nothign to do with him, but sometimes a lil girl just needs her mommy and that's all there is to it. counseling probably would be a good idea, and they may want to talk with both of you also, to get a feel from you what's going on. or maybe sit down together and try to talk ti out first. but do talk her dad and try something, ask her what she wants and then you and her dad talk alone and figure something out, hopefully you can do this without lawyers also! good luck

    Answer by mommy2xp at 6:01 PM on Jul. 17, 2009

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