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How can i convince my husband to let me stay home with our 6 week old baby?

I have been trying for 12 years to have a baby and finally did! Now i want to stay at home with her. The thought of leaving her terrifies me, but my husband will not even hear of it. He thinks i am acting ridiculous. I dont know what to do!!!!

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Asked by star413 at 10:49 AM on Aug. 20, 2008 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (14)
  • Depending on what you do for a living (your hours, how much you actually bring home, how far your commute, etc), it might be more cost-effective for you to stay at home. It was for us. And it was the only argument my hubby would listen to.

    Answer by AaronsMommy1015 at 10:58 AM on Aug. 20, 2008

  • well it really depends on your job title but if he wants you to work then do it because he is jus probably looking out for you and the baby.

    Answer by Miz.JaY at 11:03 AM on Aug. 20, 2008

  • What is the alternate plan? Day care? Most infants suffer far more frequent illness (although not typically serious illness) in day care vs home, particularly if they are not fed breast milk. Feeding infants breast milk in a day care situation is very difficult (I tried and failed after 1 month). If your child is sick you will end up staying home with them anyway. Don't believe the crap about reduced illness frequency later on - their immune system does not have the "memory" to protect them from illnesses they suffer in the first year of life when they are 4 or 5 years old. We lasted 3 months in a day care and then pulled our son out due to illnesses.

    Answer by Kellygrrl at 11:10 AM on Aug. 20, 2008

  • I love that I am able to stay home w/ my kids, but I have had to work in the past too. Our finances are tight. We make many sacrifies.
    Maybe you can come to some compromise about how many years you will stay home for instance until he starts school. How about preparing a realistic budget to compare working vs. not working. Let him see it on paper. Child care cost is so high. How about offering to work nights so that he can care for the baby while you work. :) (Lots of men in two income families don't pull their weight w/ child care after a full day on the job.) How about a part time job? All these are options. Explain the benefits of getting to raise your child vs. someone else. Time flies so fast. If you want to stay home, then try to make that work. On the other hand, don't piss off your husband! :) ....I'm probably no help at all :)

    Answer by YipeeLeah at 11:14 AM on Aug. 20, 2008

  • I stayed at home with my daughter for 10 months before I went back to work my Boyfriend is still pissed off till this day Because I went back to work Now I wish I never did because of all the things that can possibly happened to my daughter while she is in the care of others I have changed her car provider three times from daycare to in home caregiver and now another caregiver.

    Answer by Heaven0802 at 11:28 AM on Aug. 20, 2008

    I feel like shit cause of this the daycare was the best one but I could not afford it so I put her in a in home and this lady had so many children she watched that my daughter was always sick and one time I seen her daughter jump on a childs stomach like it was a trampoline so I took her out cause that can cause serious damage and I was afraid my child was bieng bullied. Let him know all the possibilities of someone else caring for his child and the possible harm others can do to the child and since the child cannot speak he will never know. My boyfriend makes me pay for the child care he said since he does not agree with it he ain't gonna pay for it, so make your hubby pay for it he will see a problem with it soon.

    Answer by Heaven0802 at 11:28 AM on Aug. 20, 2008

  • If you are financially stable enough to do that, just tell him your staying home with your child. And let it be that :)

    Answer by krazyash023 at 11:40 AM on Aug. 20, 2008

  • I guess I can see why you would want to stay home. You'd be making more money staying home than you would working, considering the daycare cost nowdays. I understand that you want to spend time with your daughter if you had such a hard time concieving her. I feel the same way about my son because we almost lost him at the hospital(long story) and leaving him with someone I don't know just scares me.

    Answer by LaurenKaye29 at 11:41 AM on Aug. 20, 2008

  • Most of ya'll have the opposite problem as I did. You all want to stay home and hubbies won't support it. I'm just the opposite. He WANTS me to stay home with him and take care of him while he works. That is all we can afford anyway so I'm down with I only work part time when he gets off of work or has a day off.

    Answer by LaurenKaye29 at 11:43 AM on Aug. 20, 2008

  • Dh told me that it would be best if I did stay home. We are lucky that finances are not the issue here. I enjoy staying home and had many fertility issues. I am now a sahm of 5 and there are times I wish I were working part time at least but know that I would dis like someone else taking my children.
    I agree with showing the finances to him in writing. Take a look at what you did daily on the way to work at work or after work that you will no longer do. Plus the clothing you no longer need to buy all the time. Add all that up not leaving out coffee, lunch,soda, vending machine trip in the afternoon. It all adds up. That is what dh did to me and then it made no sence for me to return.
    Perhaps a few nights a week would make the difference part time somewhere.
    Plus factor in all the housework/laundry/ccoking/takeout etc you would need to get or get help with if you were to be at work full time.

    Answer by tlm9201 at 12:32 PM on Aug. 20, 2008

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