Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

question for moms that had a C-section

So I am wondering if this is normal. I had a great pregnancy,was induced, after 17 hours and 1.5 hours of pushig doc decided to have an emergeny C-Section. Because of bad timing of epidural (anesth. was in another C-section and noone else could give me a booster, when he finally did, he gave me enough to make it through the regular delivery, but later it was decided to do a C-Sect) I was in a lot of pain during the surgery. There was many complication and after son was born they sedaded me, I wasn't able to see or hold him until 2 hours later when I woke up and completely missed that experience. Now my question:
I feel so sad sometimes that I missed out on that, sometimes even guilty that I couldn't be there for him and I am afraid that it may have hurt our abilty to bond. Am I just overreacting (at prep classes they made such a big deal out of the 1st hour) or do/did any of u feel the same way? Baby blues?should i get help?

Answer Question

Asked by januarymom81 at 6:09 PM on Jul. 17, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • You're probably just beating yourself up. I had 2 c-sections. The first was an emergency, I was in labor for 3 days and pushed for 4.5 hours and she was just so stuck. It took about an hour before I got to see her. The second time around it was a planned c-section so it was no emergency but it still took an hour for me to hold her. When I did she was all alert and we bonded instantly..each time. My children are 2 and 4 now...we have been vey close. Don't stress out over will have a great relationship!

    Answer by minimommy816 at 6:16 PM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • I think your reaction is perfectly normal, but maybe I can help you feel better. My first son, they induced my labor for three days, then did an emergency c-section. I had a reaction, knocked me out with a general anesthetic. I was out of it for nearly 3 days after the surgery. My son was born at 9:11am, and I didn't get to hold him until late in the afternoon.....I was so out of it from the anesthetic that I hardly got to hold him at all the first few days. I was so scared that we wouldn't bond. I also felt a lot of guilt....& yes they do make a huge deal of this at your childbirth classes. When I got home from the hospital I held him constantly, I didn't want to put him down because I was so afraid that we hadn't bonded. The truth is, we did bond....without any trouble. He knew who I was, & we were very close....are very close. He's now 26. Hold your baby, love your baby and relax, don't'll be fine!!

    Answer by ohwrite at 6:18 PM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • how long ago was baby born? if you're sad about this only when it comes to mind privately or when talking birth with other moms then it's alright. But if you're sad about baby's birth long term long time then talk in depth to your doctor, a counsellor. A lot of moms have experiences simlilar to yours. My first baby my plug came out Friday morning, contractions started Friday night til Monday when when after two hours of pushing a section was done two and a half weeks after he was born. He was blue from the overdue plus the stress of labor and section, he ws blue had oxygen and he was ok. I held him first time next morning, born at 1am earlier.

    W/my 2nd baby thy didn't give me enough time either for epidural to take hold, painful during surgery compared to painless. I puked in that delivery and cried alot that morning of deli.

    My third baby I was given nitrious oxide in addition to epidural because much scar tissue.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:22 PM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • 522anon again -to enforce bonding and growth of kids like 2nd poster, my son first baby is now 25years old and other babies are now 21 years old and 16 years old and I'm 55 years old too. I am very very close to all of them even as old as they all are.

    To Original Poster the birth experience is what brings them into the world but the experience of life past that is reallly what bond, not only the birth experience. Your baby's needs go on for years past birth. As old as my kids are they are still my babies just babies who are near adults and adults. Nurture yourself and hold look at love that baby. You'll be ok.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:30 PM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • Don't buy into the idea that a specific hour has magical powers over your bond with your child; it doesn't.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:34 PM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • Thank you so much for your advise and reassurance! He is 6.5 months old and no, I don't feel like that all the time, jus once in a while when I look at pics from when he is still really young ( if 6months isn't really young) and when I talk to my friends who expects her baby soon.

    Answer by januarymom81 at 6:48 PM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • You are fine! I had 2 c- sections, first one my baby was toooo big and I couldn't push him out. I pushed all night long, literally, and then had c- section. Second one was scheduled, it was wonderful! The doc may have thought you were too out of it to hold baby, maybe even might not have been able to. You have all the time in the world to bond with baby, nursing (or bottles), singing, rocking, changing diapers. That was only a moment baby doesn't remember, you are just being hard on yourself. the time to bond with him is now and the future. You'll be a great momma! Hope this helps and comforts you!

    Answer by Rebecca325 at 8:28 PM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • you and your baby will bond perfectly! :)
    dont worry momma!
    i was jealous when my dh got to hold dd and i couldnt but we bonded just fine and shes attached at the hip now.

    Answer by lilysmommy23 at 8:35 PM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • i had my son 6 weeks early...he was rushed to the nicu and i didnt get to hold him or see him until the next day....he isnt a mamas boy or daddys boy.....hes both....i dont think it matters....when he was little he was attached to he likes my hubby but knows im the one who cooks and things like that...i missed out on the first 12 missed out on a baby wont know the difference....once you start to bond it wont matter when you started

    Answer by Mamaof2boys0709 at 9:07 PM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • I spent the first 4 hours after my C-Section throwing up so I only held my baby for about 1 min about 25 mins after my C-Section. We have bonded great. You have to let youself get over the fact that you didnt get to hold your baby right away. You have your baby now so bond bond bond away. It sounds like you really love him and it sounds like you have a great bond with him. Your doing fine mama and I wouldnt worry about it but its hard. How long has it been since you had your baby?

    Answer by vickwu at 10:41 PM on Jul. 17, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.