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how do you deal with ppl who just show up?

have a friend who likes to come over unannonced and it drives me nuts...its always at the most inconvenient times cause im busy with the kids i tell her she needs to call b4 coming over and today she brought over her boyfriend(of which i can not stand) and told her that he cant come over while my mom's dog is here cause she does not like men and has been to known to bite strange men....but brings him over anyway and i told her at the door that he cant be here cause of the dog and they just walk right in actin like its no big deal....the dog didnt bite but was barkin and gettin stressed had to put her on the chain outside..the dog is 20 yrs old and has heart problems.....

so next time they come over with out callin first what do i tell them?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:55 PM on Jul. 17, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Tell them that you are on your way out...pack up the kids and leave. Even if you run around the block. If that doesn't work, then tell them that you're sorry but you can't take visitors today that you just have too much to do.
    LaceyAM

    Answer by LaceyAM at 8:58 PM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • tell them..."i'm busy right now! please call before you come over! bye!" and close the door
    mandielynn23

    Answer by mandielynn23 at 8:58 PM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • Wow this is really rude, especially since you have told her to call first. Then to bring someone with her....you should have let the dog bite him! lol...jk! I guess next time she shows up without calling just either say oh we were just leaving, or sorry one of my kids isn't feeling well, I"m going to lay down with them...anything and then just walk away. Try to block her at the door and not let her even come in. Actually I think this would get on my nerves alot after awhile and I wouldn't even want to be friend with her anymore. Just start avoiding her. GL!
    robinann5

    Answer by robinann5 at 8:58 PM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • Meet them at the door and apologize that you were just getting the children ready to leave for an appointment. But then so that you aren't lying, you'll need to actually leave- but who's to say it isn't an appointment for lunch or something like that. After you explain that you are just getting the children ready, you can say gosh it's too bad you didn't call first and save yourself a trip over.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 8:59 PM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • I like LaceyAM's answer better than mine. Just saying that you are on your way out, then you can just take the children for a walk. The only thing might be that she'll be offended that you can't take a walk any time and should postpone it while you have company. How about if you say that you are just getting the children ready for a walk and why don't she and her friend come along! That would solve the dog problem, and get everyone out in the fresh air.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:02 PM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • I would not take all of the effort to pack up my kids and leave the house because she is not calling before she comes over. She is already inconveniencing you, and she is being RUDE. Next time, I would not open the door enough to let her in. Tell her what you want, but I would not start lying to her either, because that just makes things more complicated. If she does not respect you enough to listen to your reasonable requests, (and they ARE reasonable!) then she is not much of a friend at all. I would not go out of my way to be nice to her unless she starts listening to you.
    kikikiki

    Answer by kikikiki at 9:11 PM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • If you can do (if the door is not open) then do not let them in. Let them stand outside even if they know that you are home just to prove a point. They did not call so you were not expecting visitors. Next time they should have called. Tell them that you didnt here the door because you were in the shower or the basement washing, etc. Or just come out and tell her politely that you dont like anyone to just "drop by" especially with extra guess to your house. You would like it if they would call first before coming by and to let you know if they are bringing someone with them so that you can be prepared for it like putting the dog outside because their guess will upset the dog. She should be more respectful to your household.
    momofonewntmore

    Answer by momofonewntmore at 9:14 PM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • Everyone knows that I need notice and that if they don't give me some notice I will not bother opening the door. I feel it is direspectful to just pop in on a whim instead of giving me a call saying can I come over tomoorrow or even in a hour. So let them know your new rules and then don't answer if they break the rule.
    SylviaNCali

    Answer by SylviaNCali at 10:39 PM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • Everyone knows that I need notice and that if they don't give me some notice I will not bother opening the door. I feel it is direspectful to just pop in on a whim instead of giving me a call saying can I come over tomoorrow or even in a hour. So let them know your new rules and then don't answer if they break the rule.

    i like that idea but how do i keep them from banging on my door or keep my kids from lettin them in? my kids always let them in cause they know they always have treats for them or toys
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:40 PM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • Put an end to this NOW.

    Next time she does this, tell her sorry but it's a bad time. You do not need to explain yourself, just say it's a bad time and she needs to call ahead or be invited.

    Don't pack up and pretend to leave, as that doesn't teach her that she needs permission to come over.

    Repeat: sorry, this is an inconvenient time, you need to call me ahead of time so I can spend quality time with you.
    Mousuke

    Answer by Mousuke at 12:47 AM on Jul. 18, 2009

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