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Can being cheap hurt feelings?

I just had a conversation with my husband about being too cheap. I like to cut corners, buy generic and go to garage sales. However when it comes to family gatherings or Christmas or something I know means alot to someone I tend to go all out. However my hubby still remains cheap when it is a special occasion. I tried to have a nice conversation with him about it and I think it turned bad. How do I make him understand he hurts others by acting that way? How can I make him see that he needs to try to see things from other peoples point of view? Is it not worth saying anymore? Should I just accept this? and let him keep hurting those around him?

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:01 PM on Jul. 17, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • How cheap are we talking?
    When I lived in a bigger city, I used to love shoping around early when I could to find good sales or clearance pricing on nice items. I figured it was better than getting them something for the same price, but of lesser quality.
    ...If you are buying cheap items for very little money when you could afford to spend more w/out hurting your budget, I guess I could see why someone could be offended.
    Maybe you could learn how to be a bit more crafty, and make gifts? Then it shows how much you care but costs less.

    Answer by honeyb3 at 10:05 PM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • If he wants to keep things cheap without the stuff being cheap, have you talked to him about shopping at sales? I don't know what you mean as far as cheap. Is he like spending $5 on someone important or you mean he buys things that are made cheaply? Or both? I think for someones b-day or anniversary, you should make them feel special and giving them something you didn't put thought into makes them feel less than special!

    Answer by VintageWife at 10:06 PM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • It's hard to change people when they are set in there ways.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:07 PM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • *their

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:07 PM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • I see no issue in being who you're. If you're cheap with yourselves people shouldn't expect you to turn around and buy expensive gifts. As long as you let people know that you want to keep things simple, they should understand. I don't feel that people should have to go all out finacially every year for some special day for other people. It's your money and you should do it for you only. If it's a one time event I could understand the need to not be as cheap. But I still think being true to who you're the most important thing.

    Answer by SylviaNCali at 10:09 PM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • I mean, he is so cheap he does not get anything for a special occasion. we are very comfortable and have a lovely home. He has no reason to be cheap. I expect him to be cheap but not for important stuff.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:11 PM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • Make him a really good dinner with the best name brand foods and then ask him afterwards did he like it.Then the next night make the same thing but with cheaper brand foods,canned vegetables instead of fresh,even desserts generric ice creams vs. regular I like Dryers the best.Boxed mashed potatoes vs. real ones,even regular coke vs. the cheap brand. and see what he says.If he's not a healthy eater this might be difficult but try it anyways,I think it would be a fun way to say spending more money on you means I love you,even when it comes to your meals.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:15 PM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • Oh No! If he is getting them nothing, that is just rude. At least give them a card or something. No wonder they feel hurt.

    Answer by honeyb3 at 10:16 PM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • You don't have to spend a lot of money to be considerate. And you can be considerate with the way you present a gift. You can stock up on inexpensive baskets and put your gift to them in baskets. I once got a lovely gift basket a friend of mine made that was in a bright plastic bowl with bags of popcorn and candy and my favorite movie which was only 5 bucks on sale.

    Answer by pnwmom at 10:23 PM on Jul. 17, 2009

  • so it's ok for you to be frugal but not for him? That's called double standard. Learn to compromise

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:39 PM on Jul. 17, 2009

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