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What would you do in this situation . . .

I am really reeling right now, so this is going to be a bit of a vent, but I promise there is a question in there, LOL.

I have a set routine in the morning - I get up between 6-6:30, have my coffee, read my bible, do a bit of yoga, and relax and prepare myself for my day - alone. I'm one of those people that really needs that time. Now, my step son knows this. He, in fact, asked me repeatedly yesterday if I was going to be getting up early today b/c if I wasn't he wanted to get on the video game when he got up. I continually told him that yes, I was b/c daddy was working. Last night before bed, he asked again, and I told him to stop asking b/c he already knew the answer. Well, this morning I wake up at 6:20 and walk into the living room to see him up and playing on the video game! Needless to say, I was LIVID. I did not yell at him, but I did let him know that I was NOT happy.

How would you handle this situation?

Answer Question
 
jennijune_21

Asked by jennijune_21 at 7:51 AM on Jul. 18, 2009 in Relationships

Level 4 (56 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • You can't take your coffee into the bedroom and do your stuff there? I'm sorry, it's probably just me, but I just think you're being selfish here, expecting your stepson to stay in his room just b/c you want the house to yourself. I would love to get up and have alone time in the morning, but that's not an option for me. My kids wake up the second they hear me. I think you need to just get over it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:55 AM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • *response on other question too*
    Okay, first off, I know it sounds like I'm being a selfish bitch here - I didn't post this question to get bashed, but for advice, so I will give a little background.

    1) This house is EXTREMELY tiny - there are six of us in a 3-1 home. Don't tell me to move b/c we can't, I won't go into why. Can I go into another room? Sure, but that's not the point.

    2) Yes, he IS deliberately getting up SPECIFICALLY to play the video game - He only gets 1 hour a day to play (which is a new rule that he is NOT happy with). So for some reason he thinks that it won't count when none of the other children are up. Before this rule was set in, he slept about an hour later. He's 13 by the way.

    3) I have four children. My children ALWAYS come first. Do you think it's too much to ask for me to get a little time to myself? I get NONE, EVER, unless I get up at the crack of dawn.
    jennijune_21

    Answer by jennijune_21 at 8:31 AM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • i know what you mean hun but that is called life. he is just a kid so try not to lose it. if you want some alone time try going in another room. if not get up earlier. and if you can't do that get over it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:02 AM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • Well, I agree with the one who suggested going into another room. But, if you can't or won't do that, my only other suggestion would be try getting your alone time at night after everyone else is in bed. Is it ideal? No. But, I do it. My kids get up at the same time I do, no matter what time I get up. So, I've learned to have my alone time after they go to bed. I take a bubble bath, read a book, watch a movie, whatever I would do if I got up in the morning and had that alone time. OR, and I just remembered this is what my parents used to do when I was a kid, take your coffee and your bible and all that, and go outside. If you have a patio, or just a little porch or something, you could sit out there. You might even find it more relaxing, being able to see the sun come up, and hear the sounds of nature. Do discipline for him playing the game when he shouldn't, but not for interfering with your alone time.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 9:17 AM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • omg thats freakn stupid he only 1 hr to play video games .. man i would HATE u too be my step mom ... wow he is going to have promblems when he gets older ..
    ashley_nick30

    Answer by ashley_nick30 at 9:20 AM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • I doubt he is going to have problems because he can only play a video game for an hour.
    MomAt15woah

    Answer by MomAt15woah at 9:27 AM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • uh i think he will have promblems bc his parnet i such a bitch and only allows 1 hr too play a video game which i find stupid he is going too end up hating her which will make him NOT listen and obey her he is 13 he should still be able too be a kid.. he should have responsibities but after there done he should have more than 1 hr too play games...but thats my opinion every 1 has 1
    ashley_nick30

    Answer by ashley_nick30 at 9:59 AM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • ashley_nick

    For your information, that is his PARENTS rule, not mine.

    Thanks for making me feel like shit for trying to be a good parent.
    jennijune_21

    Answer by jennijune_21 at 10:34 AM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • Also, he is limited to one hour for two main reasons - 1) he already HAS problems directly related to a video game addiction, is seeing a counselor and is on antidepressants. The video games were an "escape from reality" thing for him and not healthy. 2) there are two other children in this house and two adults that enjoy video games. We only have one TV in the house that is hooked up to a shared gaming console. If we allowed him to play video games at his whim, no one else would get a shot. 3) He is allowed to be a child more here than at his mother's. THERE he cleans and cooks and takes care of his grandfather and has more adult responsibilities than a 13 year old should have to deal with. Here, he gets to play outside, play legos, play video games, and be a kid.

    And as for the "bitch of a step mother" reply - well, if caring for ALL my children - step or blood - makes me a "bitch" then I guess I'm doing my job.
    jennijune_21

    Answer by jennijune_21 at 11:14 AM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • It's summer vacation. Lighten up. He knows he has to compete to get game time if you have other kids. I think it rocks that a 13 yr old would get up that early for anything and not complain about it. Find the good. Share that time with him and get to know him better. You can bond on the early bird thing. Maybe that's why he kept asking if you were getting up so much. Maybe he really wanted to spend time with you without others interfering. It could be a good thing if you saw it with eyes that could see the good. you immediately went to the negative. Maybe a min more of prayer time or bible reading could help you do that.. Not bashing, just making a point
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:17 AM on Jul. 18, 2009

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