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lying

So my nephew who is 6 has been staying with us for the summer and we have noticed that he seems to lie an aweful lot. Not like once and a while but multipal times a day. My husband thinks that it's a normal 6 year old thing to do but I think he does it way more than normal. I would think that most kids would lie in order to keep themselves out of trouble but he lies about everything, even stupid little things.Since we are not his primary care givers we can't really change the way things are going I mean he's only staying with us 6 weeks, not that we haven't tried.BUt i was just wondering if you moms who have now or have in the past riased a 6 year old could shine some light on this for me because I have a 1 year old and would like to know what to expect. Thanks so much!

 
AshleyG.

Asked by AshleyG. at 11:17 AM on Jul. 18, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (4)
  • i work with school-age kiddos and have for the past two years. you get this a lot. kids normally lie like that because they want to impress not only the people around them but themselves- he has low self esteem. if he drops something, he wished he didn't, so he'll say he didn't. i combat these things with jokes to show them that it is ok to be themselves and that you like him being himself and that you like yourself. i tell embarassing stories about myself and get them to open up about real encounters they've had ( and at first they will lie about their encounters but if you keep catching them in the lie and show that it isn't cool to you they will quit). also, when i catch them doing something- before they can say anything i comment on it. like if he dropped something i'd quickly respond and say something like, "gravity totally stinks. oh well, pick it up."
    spazlilsister

    Answer by spazlilsister at 11:41 AM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • oh, and also use "i knows" as often as you can: "i know it would be really funny if it happened like that... too bad it didn't!" praise his creativity when he comes up with a good story. note that it didn't quite happen that way, get him to admit to the correct events then say, "but if it did happen like that, what else?" make time for him to tell you the truly fake stories, but let him know that you know and will always know the truth from the stories. my students don't lie to me anymore because they know it doesn't impress me, they take from my example and don't let their friends lie to them. but we will all sit there and write stories about animals. it is just a great feeling when he says: "i know it didn't happen this way." because he is showing you his weakness and letting you in.

    just never discipline him for it because then he will feel ashamed and want to cover it up. encourage him to just tell it how it is.
    spazlilsister

    Answer by spazlilsister at 11:49 AM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • Most kids dont know they're lying. I know it sounds crazy but alot of kids get bored with life and just make things up. Have an over active imagination and forget whats real and whats not real. Just talk to him about the importance of telling the truth. Correct the event with out being mean. Have him admit that it didnt happend that way and help him realize his story telling as lies and that lies aren't socialy correct.
    Tishanti

    Answer by Tishanti at 11:46 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • I sit down with the child, and get them to tell me what really happened, then explain what lying is. I tell them that they need to always tell the truth the way it really happened...and I tell them the story of "The Boy that Cried 'Wolf!'" I explain the story to them in a way they understand and tell them that lying is really bad. As Christians, by the time my children were 6, they knew who God and Jesus were, so I was able to tell them that God hates lying and that the Devil likes it, because it gets us in trouble with God. No one wants to be in trouble with God, so he will probably think about that awhile and then come and talk to you some more about it.
    Reassure him that God loves him, but doesn't want him to lie. Lying hurts God's heart. That should help the situation some.
    singnstitch

    Answer by singnstitch at 11:10 PM on Jul. 19, 2009

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