Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

my five year old wont poop! Im losing my f#%&*ing mind!

I have tried everything the dr said to do. he will not poop. There is no medical reason for this, nor is it emotional ive been to theapist. Im about to lose control. He was completely potty trained at 2. And then he back slid and wont poop. Ive tried miralax, mineral oil, suppositorys, enemas. Im losin it. Im about to drop him off at an emergancy room and walk away.
Any Ideas? He is supposed to go to kindegarten, but they wont take him if he poops his pants. What the hell do i do????

Answer Question

Asked by DIANE463 at 12:34 PM on Jul. 18, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 2 (10 Credits)
Answers (29)
  • Does he still poop in his pants? or has he just not had a bowel movement?

    Answer by kirsty_mcgrail at 12:36 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • Have you tried having him ONLY wear a long shirt--no underwear or pull-ups, and using a kitchen timer, MAKE him use the potty every 20 minutes until he DOES do something?

    Both of my boys have mild autism, and my younger one was more difficult to train. I literally set up a TV tray, with books, toys, juice/water next to the toilet, used a duffle bag shoulder strap to keep him seated on the potty, and parked myself in the bathroom with him for up to 90 minutes at a time! I read to him, sang songs, read books myself, etc.

    Of course if he did something, he got to get off, and he was praised heavily, if he didn't do anything in that 90 minutes, he got a 10 minute break, and back he went.

    It took 4 days of doing this, then he "got it." By the end of the 10th day he was 100% day AND night trained, and we never looked back! It's DEFINITELY worth giving up a few days to show you mean business! :o)

    Answer by LoriKeet at 12:43 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • I am confused. Is he holding it in so he doesn't poop his pants? Does he just refuse to poop on the potty?

    I have an autistic five year old ready to go into kindergarten and he had to be bowel and bladder potty trained as well. I tried all the expert advice and no luck.

    One weekend I took some advice I found on cafe mom and a little of my own creativity.

    #1 Make him go pantless all weekend. No underwear... no pants at all!!! ( he will not want to poop in a corner somewhere!)

    #2 give him prune juice mixed with lemon lime soda... unlimited! He will think it is a treat! Also high fiber foods all weekend. Nothing medicated... no need for that

    #3 Either draw or create a paper with step by step instructions on how to poop in the potty... the last step is a candy reward

    I had him trained in a weekend, no problems since... good luck!

    Answer by girlneffy at 12:47 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • this has been going on for three years. He has encopresis because of it. which means he has lost all feeling in his rectum so he cant tell when its time to go. when he finally does go its HUGE and so hes scared to go the next time. Weve tried everything, and Im at my wits end. His pants are soiled every day im so sick od cleaning shit! Ive been a mon for 23 years and i just dont get it. I ve had him for xrays and everything. He is stubborn and would rather lay down all day and not move so he doesnt have to go. My dov put me on valiums because im gonna lose it. please help

    Answer by DIANE463 at 12:48 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • Oh sweetie...yes he will. He is exercising contol and a lot of 5 year olds do. Rule out medical first. Take him to the doctor. There are actual medical reasons that build up that can look like it is a behavioral issue. In the mean time: put some prune juice in muffins, try sugar free ice creme and other sugar free products. Also other high pooping ingrediants. He won't like it but it will clear him out. Most boys when faced with very nasty running underware will choose the tiolet. Don't over do it because you don't want him to cramp up. Just enough to get him nice and ready - soft poop as well. Ask your Dr. for poop friendly foods that help clean him out and come out. This is very normal. And pooping really can be painful. So rule out any medical with a a check up and go from there.

    Answer by frogdawg at 12:50 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • his doc said 15 min on potty every hour, no more I am not able to work because of this and im going fuckin crazy. i dont let him wear pants anymore because i refuse to clean them anymore ive tried prune juice, he pukes it up. mineral oil, he pukes it up i hve tried everything i have ever found online and nothing works. This is the first tiime in my life Ive ever thought of giving up my child!

    Answer by DIANE463 at 12:53 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • I missed the part where you said he encoprisis. Ah....ladies this is a bit more serious. Mental health therapist - a child therapist can help with play therapy. It can be about control with this. I have seen this a lot with kids who have experienced trauma in some way. Domestic violence, sexual assault, neglect. It doesn't mean it doesn't happen when there is no trauma but it is more rare. If you are using the term encoprisis then I know you have seen medical doctors. What does make it worse: when care givers yell, get upset, show they are frustrated. Yes you will be cleaning up crap and a lot of it. Recognize this is a medical issue as well as some emotional issues right now. How you handle this with him will make the difference between getting over this hump sooner or much much later. Seek support - from friends, from a parent group, from the doctors. Therapy is his best option. And from personal experience

    Answer by frogdawg at 12:55 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • It can take a long time.

    Answer by frogdawg at 12:56 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • I feel for u, keep trying mommy, sit him like the other mommy said every 15-20 mins. If u have to bribe him with something he wants, "if u go poopy we can go to the park" something along those line's. I read playing the angry game while ur lil one is on the toilet helps them go, sit them on the toilet and u tell him you are going to play a game with him but he has to stay sitting on the toilet or game over and then u take turns to pull angry faces. Like u would when u poop, lol. Hold your breath and pull an angry face first and then let ur lil take a turn and then u and repeat. It works with my niece when I know she needs to poop but wont.

    Answer by kirsty_mcgrail at 1:03 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • OP--
    There is no medical reason for this, nor is it emotional ive been to theapist.

    this has been going on for three years. He has encopresis because of it. which means he has lost all feeling in his rectum so he cant tell when its time to go.

    Then there IS a medical reason for this!!! LIke frogdawg said, getting upset with him and making him feel bad for something he cannot control is NOT helping the situation! Regardless of whether or not he created this problem by refusing to go is moot. You NEED a specialist to HELP BOTH of you to deal EFFECTIVELY!!!


    Answer by LoriKeet at 1:08 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.