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How in the world would you deal with this?

My DD is 1 yr. My niece is 21 months. My niece pulls my DD's hair ALL THE TIME! I baby sit her sometimes and I will put her in time out. But my SIL doesnt do anything. She will yell at her but then she will say "Do you want to go in time-out?" Then do NOTHING. Then...5 min later shes back at it again. First off, if ur child does something wrong I dont think you should be ASKING if they want to go to time-out you should just do it and STICK TO IT. My niece walks all over my SIL bc she never ever sticks to what she says. Then she will be like "You wanna go outside?" in like the happiest voice ever. If my DD hurts another child I firmly say no and smack her hand. It does enough for her to stop. I HATE just standing there while my DD is crying her head off bc her cousin yanked her hair out while my SIL does absolutly nothing. Obviously she doesnt see that her DD wants ATTENTION and shes giving it to her! What do I do/say??

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:05 PM on Jul. 18, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (4)
  • Well first of all but yourself and her the super nanny book. Negative reinforcement ("spanking" even on the back of the hand) is not good parenting, and if u believe time outs are effective (which they are) then u should be placing ur child on timeout when she does something along those lines.

    Give ur sil the book tell her u bought one for yourself and u guys should start using the techniques together and see what progress ur daughters make.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:10 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • *buy
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:22 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • You can be responsible for protecting your child by stopping the child when (preferably before) she pulls the hair. Tell her No. Don't hit her. (smacking and hitting children isn't a good idea no matter how lightly you do it) Continue to protect your child from the other child like that until she learns. If the mom won't be a good parent then that shouldn't stop you from being one yourself. I agree that she's not making good parenting choices asking a toddler if she'd like to be punished! lol I wonder if any kid would say "yes mom, punish me! YEAH!"
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:08 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • first: not forcefully, but with authority, grab the child's hand immediately when she pulls the hair. sternly get her attention by using her name and telling her to look you in the eyes. put on a stern face. ask her what she just did. explain to her that it is not nice. have her look at your child crying. keep repeating that she is hurting your child. that she is crying. make her apologize for hurting her cousin then explain to her that when she is not nice she doesn't get to play for two minutes and has to sit down. when her time is up remind her what a good cousin does, have her come over and give your child a hug again and ask if she can play with her. remind her that she wants to be a good cousin. THEN APPLAUD HER WHEN YOU SEE HER PLAYING NICE. repeat if necessary. you'll be surprised how quickly YOUR authority will spread to your sil.
    spazlilsister

    Answer by spazlilsister at 8:32 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

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