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How can I make my boyfriend more involved in my kid's life?

Jay goes to work and when he gets home he sits down and watches TV or plays video games. He smiles at the kids and asks them about their day, but most of the time he tunes out the fighting and crying. It is so hard but I love him so...but he is seriously missing out on his children's life. Help?


Asked by Teen---Momma at 1:15 PM on Jul. 18, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (6)
  • Yea, my ex was the same way...well, worse I guess 'cause he would just go out & drink & never really spend any quality time with the kids...that's why were not together. My fiance was the same way when we got serious...I just talked to him about it. I told him if he wants to take responsibility for the kids like he says then that means, punishing them when they are bad, getting on the floor & playing with them. He just didn't want to overstep his bounds since they are not his biological children. It's working out great though. He's learning and he told me he dosen't know what I want him to just tell him & he will do it. Just try telling him you want him to give the kids a bath, play candyland with them. Sometimes you just have to be direct with a man to get him to understand! lol.

    Answer by jfblaine at 1:23 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • I am not the best person to answer this because this is one of the reasons I am not with the father of my kids after 9 years of being together. He wasnt the family guy I really wanted in life. Best of luck!

    Answer by bekka106 at 1:18 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • you can't. i would suggest taking parenting classes or emotional development classes for kids so that he can see how time spent with his children makes the kids feel. he might wake up and see how important he is to them.

    Answer by melody77 at 1:43 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • some men aren't into kids, plain and simple

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:10 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • You can't force him to be more involved.

    Answer by louise2 at 2:39 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • Is he their father? He might not feel comfortable getting involved in the fighting and crying if not, for fear of offending you. He might think by him stepping in it will upset you. Have you guys talked about this? Maybe he needs to hear from you that it is ok to step in. If he is just your boyfriend and not their father, you really can't force involvement on him. Like another PP said, some guys aren't family guys. If he is their father, he really does need to help you out with the discipline, otherwise you will look like the bad guy all the time.

    Answer by tnm786 at 3:36 PM on Jul. 18, 2009