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How do you deal with people that judge your parenting?

I have a friend, sorta friend, that I've known since 2nd grade. She has no children of her own. She is constantly saying things like, 'well when I have a baby I'll stay home & not put my kids in daycare like you', 'I'll never yell @ my kids', 'I'll always play with my kids & not make them play in their rooms by themselves like you do' I'm like ok I can't stay home & have to work, I couldn't imagine just talking in a sweet tone to my kids when they are acting up & not yelling @ them (which I don't even do often), and sometimes kids should play in their rooms alone, why should I have to play with them every moment I'm around them? It's not being a bad mom but the way she puts it its' like putting down my parenting skills, and she dosen't even have children!! I always just roll my eyes & say "we will see what you do when you have kids." So do you know anyone like this & how do you deal?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:03 PM on Jul. 18, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • You tell her 'I was a perfect parent when I didn't have kids, too."
    Busimommi

    Answer by Busimommi at 2:13 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • It is proven that alone time for kids benefits them when they are older. It improves their independence. Dont listen cause I always say u cant judge until u r in the same situation.
    kirsty_mcgrail

    Answer by kirsty_mcgrail at 2:06 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • Its easy to judge when you don't have any kids of your own. Its a lot harder than people imagine. Anyways as much as it irks the hell out of me. The only thing you can do is confront your friend and tell her it bothers you, in a way its very disrespectful for her to put you down , when she doesnt know the first thing about parenting yet...and to  tell her ,please stop. Or you can just ignore her, which at times , i'm sure can be hard to do.

    Iluvmygirlies42

    Answer by Iluvmygirlies42 at 2:07 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • Yea I mean also, I get compliments on my kids behavior all the time! Some old man @ a denny's gave my 3 year old a dollar 'cause he said he had never seen such a small child behave so great @ the table & be so respectful. So I think obviously I'm doing something right! Then the whole letting them play in their rooms alone thing I usually do when people are over or were doing something else so that the kids won't be in the way. And I always thought that playing alone was good so that they learn to use their imaginations. I just couldn't imagine playing with them every moment of the day that I'm not working! LOL. It just boggles my mind that she thinks she will be able to be a stay @ home mom, & spend every moment with her kids. We need a break & I tell her that. Plus the economy it rough!! Not everyone can just quit & be at home. Especially since I'm a single mom!! Daddy left after my 2nd was born!
    jfblaine

    Answer by jfblaine at 2:15 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • I don't have a baby yet, I am still TTC. My friend and I (she does have a baby) often talk about different theories on parenting, and what we plan on doing with our children. I don't say anything offensive, I just say what I think I will attempt to do. Perhaps you can try telling her that that might work for her, but what works for you is -fill in the blank- and why it is beneficial to your children.
    rachel_817

    Answer by rachel_817 at 2:15 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • oh I didn't do Anonymous...well now you know it's me. lol. I just asked anonymous 'cause I wasn't sure if some people would bash me on here. lol. I don't want my parents judged.
    jfblaine

    Answer by jfblaine at 2:16 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

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