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my teen is in fostercare .

they put my son in foster care because i could not contol him i have raised him all by myself .pluse i have 11 yr. old that has adhd. i feel like i have fail in some way.my pastor tells me i did the right thin,but the foser care he is in her son smokes pot.my son was there before and he told me the whole time he was there he smoked pot,got drunk.even had sex in the living room.my social worker told me if i caused any trouble it would come bake on me . i love my son with all my hear but i can not let him run over me. please help! god bless you all.

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christianmom865

Asked by christianmom865 at 2:10 PM on Jul. 18, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • sound like the foster parent just wants a check, ask for a welfar check on your son, and list the resons y. it sounds like you have done the best you can with what you had, dont beat yourself you. u love him, support him, let him know if he straightens up he can come home, and you never what him to go but u need him to be safe with or with out u. i hope that helps.
    16thmoon

    Answer by 16thmoon at 2:20 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • sorry that you are going through this, in time things will get better. I know no mother wants to hear this but, sometimes letting go is the only way! how can you MAKE/CHANGE your son to what you want him to be? tuff love sometimes work, i'm sure you've done all you can you have to also realize he is who he is going to be regardless what you did or didn't do, we make our own choices (children too) and he has made the choice to go, be put out your home because of his behavior, so allow him to do just what he gone do no matter what you say, and what you do, LET GO AND LET GOD, still talk to your son and let him know that your are not pleased with his choices, and you have to think about your other child, since he chose to do wrong, you can't raise your other child in that mess! as far as the foster care you need to find him a new social worker and foster care, this situation needs attention and this won't go away,
    mememommie

    Answer by mememommie at 4:14 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • don't no what stae you are from but, you keep searching for help for your son, and don't feel bad because if you can't save both at;east save one, he needs counsling, drug treatment a new social worker and a new home, if he countinues down this path things will get worst, just keep praying and keep the faith and know that GOD WON'T GIVE YOU MORE THEN YOU CAN BEAR! God Bless and good luck to you
    mememommie

    Answer by mememommie at 4:17 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • Keep talking to the social worker, or even better have your son do it. See if you can get proof. Like your son taking pictures of it. Personally I'm ok with pot, you can sober up quicker than if you were drunk, and people that get drunk aren't in their right mind. You can try to see if this foster parent has a history of it. Or do only lawyers have that right? But anyways they are putting your teens life in danger. I have heard of too many people getting raped, molested, abused physically and mentally.Because the adult was drinking. Or see if your child can get put in another home. Because thats enexcusable behavior
    Glickstein

    Answer by Glickstein at 9:32 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • Call Child Protective Services on the foster family anonymously.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:36 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • omg you need ti get hin a new foster parent and a new social worker some how try talking to a lawyer or the head of the social worker and yes get evidence that this stuff is going on pictures of the foster parents doing it and a voice recording of your son telling you whats going on.likr the other person said they just want a check but get him out of there and out him in a different place, remember he was sent there because of bad behavor what makes him thimk what they are letting him do IS!!!!!!!!
    sammiec

    Answer by sammiec at 3:38 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • get him out
    sammiec

    Answer by sammiec at 3:55 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • Let the social workers do their job and do follow the treatment plan. Okay so several things could happen. 1) he could get worse. But then that would be on social services and not you. 2) He could get better. I have seen many teens get the help they needed through social services. It takes time but they have resources we don't have. 3) You could be a road block and your 11 year old would possibly be removed. I choose to go with door number two. This is how to make it happen: visit him during all visitation times, go to family therapy (ask for it and they actually have to pay for it), ask for him to have a counselor (same deal) - they may tell you know but actually it is the law. So advocate for him to have the best care possible and take advantage of the time. Do ask for a threaputic foster placement where he is the only teen. Advocate for that too.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 9:47 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

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