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is this really that bad?

I thought that smacking your child on the back of the hand and saying "No" firmly was effective. Why are people telling me on CM that this is a bad thing to do?

Are time-outs better? And do you think my 1 year old will understand what time-out is?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:38 PM on Jul. 18, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (10)
  • I have heard that formal discipline is pretty useless before two years old or so. I only smack my babies' hands if they are doing something very dangerous, like grabbing for the power outlet. Most of the parenting books these days say that physical punishment is ineffective. A time-out is designed (at this age) to give the child time to cool off. Providing a distraction seems to be a popular way to get them to stop doing whatever they're doing.

    Answer by fizzy at 3:44 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • I think a time out at age one is hard. You're supposed to redirect. I see nothing wrong with popping them on the hand or ass if they are doing something dangerous.

    Answer by prettyrayray at 3:45 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • time out is too complicated for a one year old
    a firm no and / or redirection is age appropriate
    in my opinion



    Answer by boredmom44 at 3:47 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • I only smack my son's hand (he's almost 16 months) if he goes to touch something dangerous. It's not a punishment but simply to get his attention. Then I just put somewhere else and give him something else to occupy him. At his age there is not really any discipline needed because they don't know right from wrong. They're just curious and unaware of danger.


    Answer by Samantha_1629 at 3:51 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • I've seen a lot of moms here who think any type of punishment is cruel but I was raised that you are never to young to be taught and never to old either. I personally believe the younger you start the easier it is because it wont be when they are 2 and suddenly they have rules. I don't spank but did do the 'hand tap' but only because my biggest pet peeve is hearing a mom say 'we don't hit' while spanking their child (talk about mixed signals) but you as the parent know what your child reacts to and all that really matters is that what your doing is effective and they know why they are getting disciplined and the lesson is learned. Each parent is entitled to their own ways of discipline as long as its not considered abuse (and I only put that in there because there will be someone who puts 'o so beating your kid is ok? umm no) Do what you feel is best for your child to raise them to be the best (and well behaved) they can be

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:02 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • we give a slap on the hand it works mostly for shock value.

    and yep we dole out the occasional swat on the butt - but thats a rare occurence. we do the 1, 2, 3....and well their imaginations are usually kicking in so by 2 they're running for the naughty chair or their rooms for a timeout.

    Answer by hypermamaz at 4:22 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • Time outs are really not intended until a child reaches at least 2 yrs. Before that they don't have the thinking ability to distinguish from right or wrong or what's dangerous or not. My son is almost 1 and redirection works pretty well. I take him away from the situation all together like in another room and show him something else safe for him to use.

    Answer by officerjoeys at 4:43 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • I have an almost two year old i don't think its wrong to pop you child for something they know they shouldn't be doing or if you have asked them more than once not to do it, for timeouts for my young one year old i would put him in his crib for a few min and tell him he had to go to time out for whatever he had done but i wouldn't leave any toys in there for him to play with, he would cry for a min but the more you do it they understand now that he is almost 2 he understands time out i just make him stand against the wall at the end of the hall way, they understand more than people think they do

    Answer by RCPerry511 at 6:34 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • there is nothing wrong with a smack on the hand.

    Answer by mnt_2_b_mommy at 7:02 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • I don't see anything wrong with a swat on the hand. Never did the trick for my dd... but it might work for you. Redirecting her is the only thing that's ever worked for her. I've done time outs in my lap before, for a few minutes.... but I don't think she really got the full picture of why Mommy wouldn't let her down to play after she threw something or whatever it was she did... Unless your leaving bruises or something like that, there is nothing wrong with it in my opinion.

    Answer by kayla_trinity at 11:06 PM on Jul. 19, 2009

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