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WE would like to adopt a baby......

My husband and I would like to adopt but we don't have 15k or more to adopt, we are on the waiting list for DFCS but they said it would be a long time since we chose under 5 as our age group. Any suggestions on how to adopt with out going through an agency. I spoke with an attorney and the fees if you can manage a private adoption are only $1200.00, birth cost more than that lol. We can afford $1200, but not 12,000............

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Asked by CAKE_MOM at 6:15 PM on Jul. 18, 2009 in Adoption

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Answers (12)
  • You might want to look at the classifieds. I know there are always a few in our papers that state that there's a mother who would be willing to give up her baby to a loving family.
    I know one procedure a friend went through where they implanted frozen eggs into her uterus - and it cost considerably less than an adoption - because you're ultimately pregnant yourself and they don't take care of medical costs for you. The majority of that money is implanting... which is VERY similar to IVF - but I don't know the circumstances of your adoption...

    Answer by K_Sawyer at 6:18 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • I agree, your probably going to have an easier, and cheaper, time finding someone to donate eggs. I would be willing to do something like that for someone so there has to be people around you willing to

    Answer by Mikayla_lynn at 6:32 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • Pregnancy is out, that is why we need to adopt. I can not medically speaking or financially go through another pregnancy, the last one was over a 1/2 million, and doctors say the next one will be just as bad, perhaps worse which is life threatening.

    Answer by CAKE_MOM at 6:46 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • Most agencies have resources available for you to get grants, loans, etc. There are many organizations that recognize that not all those who are able to provide a loving home for a child has the cash up front. Go to an agency and ask about financial aid. Once you get that information, you can reassess what you can and cannot do.

    Good luck!

    Answer by Busimommi at 6:57 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • Depending on what state you live in, looking for an ad in the newspaper may not be possible. It is illegal in many states to advertise regarding your desire to either place or adopt a child. Plus, I question whether that is a good way to do an adoption anyway.


    Answer by Southernroots at 7:11 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • We used an organization to match us to an agency or private lawyer. If that makes sense. To most people it does not. We wanted to adopt a biracial or black child. It took less than a year (by far), in fact most times it is a three to six month wait. Many people who go through this particular option often pay less than $5,000. You pay for lawyer, court, homestudy, and application fees. It is possible to do $5,000 or less.

    Answer by frogdawg at 8:33 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • There are interest free loans and grants available for waiting children internationally. WACAP is a good place to look into that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:51 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • Note to OP: I intended the following 2 responses for you, I had moved to another question, but it was pretty close in topic, but I was thinking of you, Cake_Mom, when I originally posted this. Sorry for the goof up.

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 12:07 PM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • When we first started looking into adoption, I really thought "Wow, that's a lot of money". But I think we lose sight of the child when we focus on the cost. (Not bashing, I know what you mean.) In other words, if we were to get pregnant, we would have costs (medical, paying health insurance, copays, etc) (You said your first was $.5 million.) So in comparison, not so much cost. Of course, you didn't have to PAY all of that, but we look at it differently because we see it as ALL up front. Not the case either, many agencies let you pay out, there are grants, and there is foster care. In foster care, you have to child-proof your house, make adjustments to meet safety/health guidelines, CPR/First Aid, etc, but again, all of this is over time.There are risks in ANY path to adoption, be it domestic, intern'l, foster care, surrogate, embryo adoption, etc. You have to decide what risk you are able to take given your circumstances.

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 12:07 PM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • Even in getting pregnant yourself, there are NO guarantees. There IS a HUGE risk in your getting pregnant again, so you are wise to look at less risky ways of building your family. I felt the same way you did in the beginning, but it's a growing process. I am growing in knowlege, patience, wisdom, emotionally, spiritually. There's no "fast road, no risk, all guaranteed" way to add a child to your family (believe me, I looked, LOL!), but if there was, we MIGHT take our blessing for granted. It's OK to have to be vulnerable, any birth mother is, why should we expect anything less? And I know that your heart is in the right place, you obviously would love more children, and I'm NOT trying to make you sound like anything less. Just wanted to let you know that, in time, even your perception will probably change. Honestly, there should be a high cost, not for lawyers and agencies, but because what we receive is "priceless." GL!

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 12:08 PM on Jul. 19, 2009

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