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what happens when its no longer good?

I broke up with my ex a couple of months ago and before I ended things b/c of his abusive ways, I was not into sex like I did in the beginning of our relationship. I thought b/c I was falling out of love with him and he was treating me bad it made the sex bad. I wasn't able to have an orgasm @ all. Well I started seeing someone else and b/c months had past since i had been with my ex I thought that the sex would be awesome. needless to say the handful of times we did have sex i never had an orgasm and it wasn't all that. And then he told me that I wasn't as tight as women he had been with and that my walls weren't as closed and that my ex must have been really big. Well he's not he's average(and I've had bigger than both of them) so i don't understand whats the problem. I've read about kegels and tightening creams but does that really do anything for your actual muscles or just the opening of your vagina. I really don't know i

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:41 PM on Jul. 18, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • But I'm trying to be sympathetic towards him, I wanted to say its your fault its you with the problem. But im being nice. He also suggested I explore my own spots so that i can guide him or buy a toy but I'm not into that kind of stuff. I don't know what to do. I don't ever really remember having an orgasm through sex, only oral sex which must mean that I never had one b/c if i did I would know. I'm feeling self conscious b/c what if I am really loose down there. I've never had that problem before my ex and I fit perfectly. Now I'm thinking is hymenoplasty (plastic surgery to restore your vagina to virgin state) really an option for me?I've only been pregnant once and given birth to one child but he's a cesarean baby and on top of that I haven't been w/ a lot of people.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:41 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • sounds like he is small
    Mikayla_lynn

    Answer by Mikayla_lynn at 6:45 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • lol! he's short in deed but i gave him the benefit of the doubt b/c he makes up in width.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:51 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • Can anyone give me some advice please?????????????
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:01 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • OK, stop blaming yourself for his lack of being able to pleasure you. You 2 need to find some positions that work for the both of you and that can make it feel like before. Kegel exercises do work, but you have to be consistent, and no, you won't see results in a day. Also, you might want to try playing with yourself or buying a toy for the both of you. You guys should be able to work some things out. BTW- you may still be feeling the affects of the abuse from your former relationship and his abuse. If you new guy keeps blaming you, you might have to find someone else. You can have a good relationship with out sex, but I have found that a good sex life helps a relationship.

    krissyvelazquez

    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 7:33 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • Thanks!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:56 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

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