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If you are married and the only thing you do is,this is a bad marriage but it's not abusive,what do you do,here are your choices..

You eat out alot but you don't have rommance,you talk about having sex but you never do it,your relationship is more like a friendship,you love your husband but he doesn't show he loves you or makes a effort to love you,you don't want divorce but you day dream of other men or past boyfriends, any others?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:29 PM on Jul. 18, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • at least you are friends...and I would get counseling
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:26 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • Ugh. The grass is always greener on the other side.
    Stay married. Keep your vows.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:32 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • I would call that an emotional affair. It is time for some form of counceling.
    teamquinn

    Answer by teamquinn at 8:32 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • A marriage takes work!!! You signed up for this, did you think life would be all glamorouss just because you got married? Make the effort to make it work! Instead of getting comfortable, and unhappy spice things up!

    mrsmamaj

    Answer by mrsmamaj at 8:47 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • How long have you been married? IF it has been a for a long time ( 1 year or more) maby you should try counselling and if that dont work and things dont change for the better than maby you should talk about splitting if things stay the same. Now marriage dose take alot of effort from both of you ( 50/50) and if you truley want it to work than work on it talk about it! And sexually try different things! like mrsmama said spice things up! Good luck!

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:55 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • Sounds like both of you have potential but need to be taught how to have a marriage. Youve got the friendship part down, but the romance isnt coming as easily as you would like. Counseling sounds like it would help you. If you dont turn this into a real marriage, then one of you will have an affair. Its simply impossible to keep living like this when you have other needs. If you WANT something different, then go after it. Its going to take effort but if youre willing, then its possible. Good luck. Nothing wrong with asking for help.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 8:55 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • To get love and romance you have to give it. It is amazing how often guys want the same stuff that we always ask for. I love my DH and it took me forever to get this. If you are not willing to give him some romance, he is probably thinking why bother. Maybe he thinks that you will not be receptive. You might want to try some couples counseling and a weekend get away. Divorce is not the only answer. You need to learn how to work together to be happy and you will realize how much better off you will be.

    krissyvelazquez

    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 9:11 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • Well In my marriage all I've said above is what's going on but I want to know what's going on in yours?Both my husband and I are on medications that ruin our sex drives and ruin our feelings of orgasisms,so that's why we haven't had sex lately and that's ruining our feelings for eachother since it's making us both unemotional robots.My husband has been out of work on and off for 8yrs. this has been an extreme let down in our marriage,aswell as me I can't find a job either and I have my job problems too.I'm very angry that my husband is on anti-depressants ,he's suicidal and thinks only about himself,those drugs ruin our sex life,I'm on high blood pressure meds,can't help that,I swear one of these days I'm going off them,if we got our sex life back we would be happier together.Thankfully we only have one child to take care of.I love my husband,I know he would get a job if he could,he's a good man,I know he loves me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:20 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • Yes, I do. It's dangerous though and I change my thoughts to anything but that. I know it would be more likely than it seems to find someone. Likely, someone no better. I am in a marriage that isn't terrible but it isn't fullfilling fo either of us. I will not divorce my husband. If we divorce, it must be he who asks for it. I will be free to marry again. I couldn't deal with the guilt of asking for the divorce and it would ruin me for someone. I see it as a win-win. If he files for divorce, I will wait a year, find myself again and get onto e-harmony. If he decides to work with me so we both can be happy, I will have a happy marriage. I say this affirmation: "I have a healthy, happy marriage" and it seems to make it more likely that I will.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:23 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • I agree if your just married a year or two' you should first try counceling. ask him if everythings ok . like himself , his family. his work. If everythings all well. then go get some help . oh maybe you can try to make the first move.to love and romance. if you did try that go get counceling.you need it bad.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:23 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

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