Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I just don't understand.

If there are so many children out there in need of homes, mothers giving up their babies, neglected children and what now, why do they make it so difficult and expensive to adopt? Now I completely understand background checks and what not but why the cost? Why ALL the red tape? If there are families out there that pass extensive background checks than why do they need to pay and go through all the BS ? Obviously the kids needs a home? Is there something I am not getting?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:20 PM on Jul. 18, 2009 in Adoption

Answers (20)
  • Good question. Why do they make abortion so easy and adoption so hard?
    Adelicious

    Answer by Adelicious at 10:24 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • you can always adopt thru ur local foster care program
    Dom123123

    Answer by Dom123123 at 10:26 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • Because there are people out there desperate enough for an infant that they will pay it!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:34 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • OP here-Adelicious that is very true and really upsets me, you can like get an abortion done in an hour and pay what like 200-300 bucks but to actually adopt a termed child or a school age kid, ite much time and much money!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:54 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • The answer is very simple. Adoption is a an extremely lucrative business, particularly in newborn domestic adoptions. Agencies, facilatators and attorneys are well paid for facilitating adoptions. They charge as much as they can get away with, which is often a lot. Look at the fancy websites or homes that many agencies have to house pregnant women. Notice how much expensive advertising many agencies, etc. use.

    As for pregnant women who place babies, there are not nearly enough to meet the demands. Women are less apt to give up babies now, and particularly for healthy, white babies, the demand is fierce. If someone really wants to parent a child, adopting from foster care is the more economical method. There are plenty of children in foster care that already need homes, but many of them are older and/or have special needs. Babies are in high demand; older children less so.

    Southernroots

    Answer by Southernroots at 12:24 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • I agree with Southernroots about the lucrative business of adoption,Though the "home" I was forced to live in by agency and family was far from nice.Clean, 3 to a small room 1 t.v. for a 12 bedroom house and that was it for entertainment.We were just incubators for the infertile women that deserved healthy white newborns.It still sounds nicer than it was...at our checkups at the house we went into aroom with a couple of nurses, a sect and a doc.We were told to disrobe from the waist down and hop on the table to wait while they talked and gossiped about us.No sheet to cover up with cause you wouldn't want to waste a clean sheet on us.So I don't think the housing costs are what they use the money for.Iam not ranting at you Southernroots just don't be fooled by the nice house pix.The money goes to the other places you describe.It does sound like a rant sorry.
    drfink

    Answer by drfink at 2:53 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • Also because I came from a comfortable family they paid 200.00 a month in 1976-1977for me to stay there. As much as my apt. at college cost the year before.
    drfink

    Answer by drfink at 2:59 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • When we first started looking into adoption, I really thought "Wow, that's a lot of money". But I think we lose sight of the child when we focus on the cost. (Not bashing, I know what you mean.) In other words, if we were to get pregnant, we would have costs (medical, paying health insurance, copays, etc.) So in comparison, not so much cost. Of course, you don't have to PAY all of that, but we look at it differently because we see it as ALL up front. Not the case either, many agencies let you pay out, there are grants, and there is foster care. In foster care, you have to child-proof your house, make adjustments to meet safety/health guidelines, CPR/First Aid, FBI finger prints, etc, but again, all of this is over time.There are risks in ANY path to adoption, be it domestic, intern'l, foster care, surrogate, embryo adoption, etc. You have to decide what risk you are able to take given your circumstances.
    doodlebopfan

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 10:54 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • Even in getting pregnant yourself, there are NO guarantees. (miscarriage, illness, etc.) I felt the same way you did in the beginning, but it's a growing process. I am growing in knowlege, patience, wisdom, emotionally, spiritually. There's no "fast road, no risk, all guaranteed" way to add a child to your family (believe me, I looked, LOL!), but if there was, we MIGHT take our blessing for granted. It's OK to have to be vulnerable, any birth mother is, why should we expect anything less? And I know that your heart is in the right place, you obviously would love children, and I'm NOT trying to make you sound like anything less. Just wanted to let you know that, in time, even your perception will probably change. Honestly, there should be a high cost, not for lawyers and agencies, but because what we receive is "priceless." GL!

    PS-If anyone read these before I edited (I referred to $.5 milion...CakeMom's Q)oops, my bad! :)
    doodlebopfan

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 10:57 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • Greetings to all, very good replys, and very worthy of being brought to our attention. I agree whole-heartedly with all the comments above...with exception to 1. Again, since ABORTION, is equated to adoption(absolutely should not be), I must respond. I had an abortion, back in 1980, and must inform all, it takes much more than just an hour to get through. I wasa counseled for 6 hours, trying to be made aware of all my options, resources, etc. It was an all day procedure, approx. 71/2 hours. I recieved more counseling in that day, yet recieved none when I was made to sign my relinquishment papers for my twins. NEVER was it mentioned about counseling, or parenting options...NEVER! My decision to abort, was made with great pain, and many reasons..none having to do with ABORTING an innocent child. Just clarifications here, I was banned from a.com, for this very comment! Please try not to equate the 2, Blessings, C.J.
    ceejay1

    Answer by ceejay1 at 11:35 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN