Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Am I morally wrong for this?????

I have got a question I need answered. I am in the mist of a nasty divorce. Lately I have been communicating with someone who is in jail. He is a family members ex boyfriend and father to their child. Ok we started off as friends and since the communication with him we have started falling for each other. We write to each other several times a week and things have really gotten heated. He has never asked me for a dime and we speak on the phone frequently. I feel like a fool because I feel as if I am betraying my family member by writing and communicating with him behind her back. I have decided as of late to STOP WRITING HIM AND TO BREAK ALL COMMUNICATION FROM HIM. I have been tempted to write him again but for some reason I cant do it. Doing something like this is beneath my level and I would #1 stoop to the level of dating a family or friends ex and #2 write someone who is in jail. AM I WRONG FOR THIS?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:30 PM on Jul. 18, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (18)
  • Are you wrong for stopping communication? NO. You should have never opened that door in the first place.

    Answer by squish at 10:35 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • Be strong and stay away from him!

    Answer by Cherrie522 at 10:36 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • You're not wrong for stopping communication but you should tell him why. It's not wrong that he is in jail, good people do stupid things all the time that end up getting them arrested it doesn't make them bad people. If you really like this guy why don't you talk to your family member about it... it's one t hing if it's your sister etc but you never know if it's a cousin they may not care

    Answer by bubblycute at 10:36 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • First, what's he in jail for? That's what my first concern would be. I think you're right for breaking things of NOW--there's a lot going on that could be confusing. I'd guess when you're going through a divorce and with all the pain you could be more vulnerable and less level-headed. I don't know how long it's been since he was with your family member, but I wouldn't count someone off exclusively for that reason. I probably would want to wait 'til they were out of jail (if the crime was something really small, anyway). So while I wouldn't automatically say count him off, I do think you're wise to give it some times.

    Answer by Adelicious at 10:37 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • Nope, I support your decision. You are thinking clearly now.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:37 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • i say stay away from him!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:37 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • I agree that it is a good thing to cut ties with him- no more phone calls/letters and move on.

    Answer by MizLee at 10:38 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • i think it is wrong to talk to a family members ex. If they were doing it to you how would you feel? My bf is going through something like this and let me tell you she is being torn to pieces. Her younger sister is starting to talk to her ex husband... it is drama. Anyway I would just try to stop all communication and move on there is always someone better out there you just have to put yourself out there and find them


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:39 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • I would never date anyone in jail let alone talk to them. Especially if I'm in a nasty divorce. Your soon to be ex could use that against you and I don't blame him. What were you thinking? It doesn't matter what he's in there for, but he's in there and I would NEVER let anyone who's even been arrested around my kid. As for the family thing, That's just stupid.

    Answer by sarapurser at 10:41 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • Let me just say talking to someone in jail (whether you know them or not) is VERY risky. From personal experience I can say this. My friends cousin was in jail and I wrote him just to be nice. Things started getting flirty and then before I knew it he thought he loved me. He is still in jail and I am still in cintact wirh his aunt to know when he gets out. This was years ago and since then I've gotten married and have a child and this man is very open with everyone that he will 'do whatever he has to' in order to find me and be with me when he gets out. I've tried getting a restraining order and they won't let me until he is released. Inmates latch on to whoever and whatever they can and it can become dangerous or even deadly if you decide to continue it and later break it off. Please for your own safety refrain from communicating with him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:48 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.