Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Is this tacky?

So my fiance and I decided on a whim that we're getting married next month on the 22nd. We don't have a lot of money so we're going to the court house, then were going to have a hog roast at my father in laws. We figured out that we could pay for the hog and most of everything else, but we were wondering if it would be tacky to ask people to bring a dish with them

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:07 PM on Jul. 18, 2009 in Food & Drink

Answers (10)
  • It is not tacky to ask guests to bring a dish to a party, but it is tacky to ask them to bring a dish to a wedding. Decide which one you are having, and if it is not a wedding don't expect gifts!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:11 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • okay, I figured it was to a wedding, but its not really a wedding...I honestly don't know what to do.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:14 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • I agree with the anon, if you want people to bring a dish to pass make clear it's a party and not a reception.

    Answer by MotherHubbard78 at 11:14 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • I disagree with all the previous posts... Maybe it is just where I live. We call them "potluck receptions" It is a reception, usually for a young couple, w/out a lot of money. Everyone is asked to bring a dish, and the recipe for the bride. I've even seen it divided the groom's guests are asked to bring dessert, and bride's side a veggie dish.

    Congrats.. Remember, it doesn't matter how much money you put into the wedding,what matters is how much LOVE you put into the marriage.

    Answer by say_tay at 11:47 PM on Jul. 18, 2009

  • I agree that at a reception, and you do want gifts, it would be tacky to ask them to bring a dish. Why not ask you parents to help you make a few dishes. Your mom could recruit one or two friends and make economical dishes that feed several people. You don't have to have much. If you need to save on cash, have a friend be a bartender, and charge for drinks. lot of receptions do that. You can buy boxed wine, and charge 25 or 50 a glass. This way the alchol won't be an expense for you and you can use that money for a few side dishes. May you have a happy day.

    Answer by moneymagnetmom at 12:15 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • It depends, I guess. I would maybe try to ask closer family or friends to bring a dish. Just a warning, if you are going to charge for alcohol you may need a liquor license, at least you would here, and be in for some hefty fines if you are caught charging without a license. I was invited to a wedding shower and was asked to bring a plate of dainties, I had no problem with it. It really doesn't matter what we think though, will your guests think it's tacky?

    Answer by canadianmom1974 at 12:20 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • i guess it depends on the type of people you are friends with. if you have "bushi" friends, it might be considered tasteless, but if you have a group of laid back people coming, im sure they wont mind. my friend thought it was tacky that i wanted like 6 people from my baby shower invite list to bring food to my shower. but i was a pregnant woman who knew what i wanted to eat at my shower and certain things i just love that those 6 people can really cook! lol. i say, on the invitation write something like "please bring your favorite covered dish along with the recipe for the new bride" and get an empty binder to put all the recipes in at the hog roast. (like creating a cook book for the new bride) then its like an activity kinda.

    Answer by brodysmama23 at 12:41 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • Your already having a hog roast, that is pretty tacky so it will be more like a picnic so you might as well have people bring their items.

    Answer by Noworktodo at 11:28 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • Ask ladies from a local church--they always love cooking for events like this. I agree with brodysmama23 about making a "recipe book" then it seems fun. I think its a good idea to have a hog roast...that sounds good lol

    Answer by Joshiesxmama at 11:47 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • Ya, I'd say if you want wedding gifts don't ask them to bring food as well. If it's a potluck party, a dish is expected.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:44 PM on Jul. 19, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.