Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Should I?????

My hubby cheated on me and it has been 8 months since it happened. At the time I was 3 1/2 months pregnant with my youngest. I still feel ALOT of anger and betrayal. Sometimes I think I should do the same to him so that he can feel what I felt. Should I? Has anyone ever done something like this and what happened??

Answer Question

Asked by gabby.momof2 at 2:02 AM on Jul. 19, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • no because you are just lowering yourself to his level...if my husband had cheated on me...i would have left him..without trust there wouldnt be a relationship...IMO

    Answer by MiraclesDHappen at 2:03 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • What would it solve? Do you think it will make your marriage stronger?

    Answer by Southerncharmes at 2:06 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • remember
    "two wrongs don't make a right"

    Answer by Lovin_mybaby5 at 2:06 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • no, don't stoop to his level.

    Answer by craftykidsclub at 2:09 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • No, not a good choice. mine did the same to me 8 months back..... she got pregnant and either had an abortion or lost it. He won't ever be doing that again (so he says....) I don't know how to get over this either, but I want to move on from it. I swear, he does it again... he won't be able to see his dd again and I've told him that. Still hurts! I don't think it will go away. Still very angry about it but doing it back won't change anything.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:16 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • Yes, you should do it. Because he'll probably leave you and you'll be a single mom and have to live off the state. Now does that sound like a great idea? Jesus christ.

    Oh and to the previous poster, I think i'd cheat on you too if you told me i'd never see my daughter again if I cheated another time. I'd do it just prove I could still see my daughter because you can't really stop him.

    Answer by sarapurser at 2:20 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • you would feel awful if you did. I don't suggest it. Work through your anger. Let him spend the rest of his life making it up to you.

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:20 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • ... u need to give time to have him build ur trust. If u cant and u wanna stoop as low as to cheat on him then not only are u deffinately gonna be alone, but u are gonna be regretful because u excepted being with him after he cheated and u need to handle that and deal with it or move on. He might not except u if u cheat.

    Answer by Dom123123 at 2:27 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • Don't do it, you either need to forgive him....and that isn't for him, it's for you, or leave him. Both of you cheating will only make things worse. When I say forgive, I don't mean that you have to trust him....he has to earn that back. I don't mean that you have to forget......but you have to decide your marriage is worth working on, or decide that it isn't. Either decision is understandable. You have the right to make either choice, but cheating really shouldn't be an option. Have more respect for yourself.

    My heart goes out to you. I know the pain that cheating can cause. I got out of a relationship when I caught him cheating, but we weren't married and didn't have a child. Consider counseling, and weigh your options carefully. Only you can decide what's right for you. Good luck.

    Answer by ohwrite at 2:41 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • No! Please don't do that. You will not feel better, it will not help him understand what he did wrong any better. You will feel guilty and it will only confuse you when you try to deal with your feelings. You are angry and you have every right to be, but you do not have a right to break your vows. I strongly recommend counseling. It saved my marriage. Do not listen to anyone that tells you "Once a cheater always a cheater." That is not true. You know your husband. If you really want to try to make your marriage work, you have to let go of revenge. If you forgive him, truly forgive him. If you can't get over, then that's fine to, but you have to make a decision. Either stay and forgive or leave. Neither decision is wrong, but the decision must get made for everyone's sake. If you stay with him and don't forgive him, and don't let go of the anger you will be miserable, and it will ruin you. I feel for you and good luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:19 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.