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allow baby father's mother to son 1st birthday

Grandmother (daddy side) only seen him 3 times in his lfie time (newborn, 6 months, 9 months) she has never did anything for him (which it isn't a big deal because I didn't sleep with her). I thought she didn't want anything to do with him because of her son not wanting to do with him, but I called her when my son was 9 months and she took him for a day, the plan was for her to keep him for the weekend but then my son's father called me the next day threatening if I don't go get him immediately he was going to go over there and choke the life out of my son and so I did go get him. Since that incident she hasn't seen him, so since this is his 1st birthday should I invite her?

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blessedmom1

Asked by blessedmom1 at 2:56 AM on Jul. 19, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (11)
  • Every good person who wants to be a part of your son's life is a good thing. ;)

    I would bet that her son is a big reason why she hasn't seen more of your son. She just doesn't want to be the cause for him being harmed.

    There are so many women out there who would love to have the grandmother on the father's side involved in their children's lives.

    Try to record any future phone conversations that you have with the father though.
    casperskitty

    Answer by casperskitty at 3:05 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • If he ever makes a threat like that again, call the cops. Such a horrible thing to say. Even worse when it involves an innocent baby.
    MommyLee08

    Answer by MommyLee08 at 3:07 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • I say invite her but ask her not to tell him. She seems like she wants to be apart of his life, and you shouldnt blame her cause her son is an idiot. I also agree that the cops need to be involved if and when he makes another comment like that.
    Mikayla_lynn

    Answer by Mikayla_lynn at 3:43 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • I would invite her. Grandma obviously wants something to do with him. Never deny a child his family and if he threatens you again, call the Police. He is not going to follow through with his threats, he is just mad that his own mother loves his child. Sounds to me like a coward that wants no monetary obligation to his baby. JMO.

    Mamasita98

    Answer by Mamasita98 at 4:58 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • Grandma could be the best thing that ever happened you and your baby! Let her come until SHE becomes the problem. Until then let everyone else be responsible for their own actions. I loved my children fathers mother (grandma) She was a delight and often watch over my children while they were in their fathers care...which WAS a blessing. When I couldnt talk or reason with him...I could with her .Now mind you she did have a few things to iron out with me as well as her son, but thats what I loved about her. No favorites except when to came to the kids! My children are better people because of that wonderful lady. I loved her as much as I loved my own mother. Both are deceased now, sad to say. Thank god she loved us ALL the same.

    Invite Grandma!
    lacyjones

    Answer by lacyjones at 6:59 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • Why the hell is your baby's daddy so hostile? I think I would have to address that whole issue before I would even remotely feel comfortable combining the company of the baby and any of his family. I hope that she wasn't passive about that whole incident; if she was, then absolutely No - do not invite her or any of them near the baby until that whole "choke the life out of" your baby is completely resolved. Once that is done - absolutely grandma can be a very good relationship for you and the baby.
    PaceMyself

    Answer by PaceMyself at 7:09 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • I have to wonder what happened to create such a visceral reaction in him. Maybe she was a crappy mom who allowed or did something horrible to him. You know him. What does he say about his mom? Then again, he could just be an ass. To EVER say anything like that is wrong, but ultimately, he could have been trying to protect his son.
    JawgaMom1

    Answer by JawgaMom1 at 7:55 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • i think you should let her.
    brodysmama23

    Answer by brodysmama23 at 8:40 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • It's not the grandmother's fault that the father is voluntarily not being involved in his child's life. If she want to be apart of his life regardless then way not. However, I would probably not let the child go over to her house unattended because of the threat that he made towards your child. You may want to get a restraining order against him for the sake of your childs' safety. Maybe the grandmother can just come visit the child occassionally and you not take the baby over to her house to avoid running into him.
    momofonewntmore

    Answer by momofonewntmore at 10:55 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • to joawgamom: I don't know what is going on with my son's father. He won't talk to me like an adult and when I asked his mother she claims that he won't talk to her either. The whole thing is confusing to me because when my son was born he came to see him in the hospital, he came again when my son came out, and then all of a sudden his whole attitude change: Don't call me, don't ask me for nothing, fuck me and fuck his son, blah, blah, blah. Then when my son was 6 mos he wanted to take him and so I did, but after that it was back to fuck him and fuck me and ignoring my phone calls. So now I said the hell with his daddy and if his daddy feels that way I'm thinking to myself should I just say the hell with his whole family.
    blessedmom1

    Answer by blessedmom1 at 12:33 PM on Jul. 19, 2009

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