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how do you stop your teenager from getting out of controll?

my 14 yearold daughter is out of controll, she been lying ,she steels from me,she has tried to run away, this has been going on for fives years now its getting worse and i have 4 orther little ones also, ive tried everything,taking things away,talking to her and nothing what do i do?:

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:01 AM on Jul. 19, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (15)
  • ask her what she would do if she had a dd doing those things?
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:12 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • Send her away for at least a month. Fathers, aunt, uncle
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:20 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • Well i was an out of control teen and my parents got me counseling and i have to tell you it worked very well i didn't want to go at first but there was some cramp that i was holding in that i had to get out. maybe try that.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:25 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • I WAS an out of control teen...and sending her away WILL NOT make it better. There are one of two things going on with her...one something happend to her and she doesnt want to talk about it OR two she isnt feeling as much love as she needs (not saying you dont love her, but this is a tough time for girls and they need special attention for their moms...I would try some mom and daughter things like shopping just you two or a movie when the others are asleep or just something.)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:40 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • i have tried every thing mention except sending her to her real dad cant send her there cause he really isnt a good parent he drinks to much and only cares for his wife and kid. ive tried a mother/daughter day with her once a month like shopping eating just girls things cant do it to much we really dont have a lot of money. i had asked her how would you feel if your daughter did this to you and her response is i would feel sad so i told her thats how i feel i even broked down and cried in front of her begging her to stop because it is really hurting me but nothing she does it sometimes two days or after a week a talking about this the same thing i finally let her spend a night at a girls house well the messed up think is thst the women parent didnt tell me boys were also spending the nigh so her and a boy were kissing and holding hands and i found out than she tells me that the lady let he have a beer countine below
    sammiec

    Answer by sammiec at 3:55 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • u need to send her away to a good camp!!!!not s crazy 1 look up documetorys there is one that i saw on lifetime or a similar show it helped her so much!!!i wish i remembered tho but i think talk to her bout it compromise~~good luck!! she will get out of it alot do you need a theripist for yourself and her possibly or mayb it is the absent of her father and when she goes she'll wanna come bak and be good!
    mamabear0824

    Answer by mamabear0824 at 4:05 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • i asked her why did you take it knowing its wrong and i would never let you do that she told me that well she gave me permission to and i said is she your mother did she give birth to you ? who is your mother? she said you are so i said ok did i give you permission to that she said no but didnt at once feel bad its the same conversation over and over dont do that your not at the rt age when you get older you can do this and that.get your education first than when you gradute than you can have fun but your only 13 your to young to be kissing boys or wearing make-up,its not good for our relatioship if you keep doing this i as a mother cant take this anymore soon enough will be ENOUGH and thats what i dont want to happen i cant sleep or eat or evan play with my other kids beacuse im so angry all the time and tired she doesnt respect me. it feel like she only wants to do what she wants to do. so please any more advice or opinions
    sammiec

    Answer by sammiec at 4:06 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • Sounds like you have your hands full. Are you in a relationship at present time? If so what is your daughters relationship with this person? Seek counseling, for both of you. Also there are mentoring programs available. She may benefit from a mentor. A good mentor has a way of finding out if there are any underlying issues. They are objective and can see all sides of a situation. Give her ownership of her own actions, don't allow manipulation, be consistant with disipline. It usually hurts the parent more to inforce disipline than it does the child to recieve it. You may find yourself wanting to give in because it is eaiser on you to do so. DON'T! Stand Firm. Try praying for guidance. God is out there and he has a way of manifesting himself when we least expect it. I'll be praying for you, and your child.
    birdyoung

    Answer by birdyoung at 8:25 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • Please do not send her away. Try talking to her with as much love as you can. There is something going on with her. Maybe she is angry or hurt. Tell her how you feel and be honest. Be prepared if she tells you what it is, you might not like it. Even if you get her to want to change it will be difficult if she has been behaving this way a long time. Your daughter has to want to please you. She is not going to do it because you said so. Do not argue just pour out your soul to her. I was almost 15 before my mom finally touched my heart and I did not want to hurt her anymore. Before that she just acted tough and bossy so I didn't believe she really cared. I certainly was not perfect after that but I sure tried harder.

    rudreamin

    Answer by rudreamin at 8:36 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • Counseling, even family counseling. If she is caught stealing or runs away, call the police. Sometimes tough love works the best. Call your police or sheriffs dept and find out if they have a Scared Straight program and sign her up. She will spend the weekend or so in a jail and be treated like an inmate. She will talk to inmates about how they messed up their lives and how they would go back and change things if they could.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 12:14 PM on Jul. 19, 2009

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