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any one awake in a bad marriage? how do you deal?

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:30 AM on Jul. 19, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • I got the hail out. No man/relationship is worth pouring year after year into and it's not getting better. Since you have exactly said what the issues are I can't really offer too much advice, but I would try first to see what if anything I could do on my behalf to make it better (there's always two sides to every marriage) and if after that and I've determined that he's making no effort than I would get the heck out.

    I was 24 when I got my divorce from my ex-husband. I told myself that I could do bad all by myself - I didn't need that n!gga to help me along. I gave it several shots especially after the birth of our daughter but he still wanted to act like a fool so he had to bounce. That's right I put his ass out and filed for divorce and now he pays me child support. When I remarried a year and a half after the divorce, he was bitter and wanted me back. Uhm...can you say HAIL TO THE NAW?!?!


    Answer by Ladybugkisses76 at 7:52 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • I remarried myself someone whom I love, he loves me; together we have 2 girls one from my previous marriage and 1 together and we work hard to raise and provide for our family and we also work hard to preserve our marriage. We've been married for almost 7yrs. Looking back on it I'm glad I got out when I did. My youth would have flew past me and I would be stuck and miserable.

    I'm not one of those women who stay in a bad marriage for the sake of their kids. I figure you're a much happier person when you're in a good relationship and a happier person makes a happier parent. Besides I could envision myself having a conversation with my oldest daughter and trying to explain to her why mommy is depressed all the time and telling her it was because me and her father have been in a loveless marriage our whole lives and that I stayed for her sake and she in turn telling me I should have left many years ago.


    Answer by Ladybugkisses76 at 7:58 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • I'm now 32 - I'm no teenie bopper but I've still got a long way to go before I'm old and grey and my husband now (with all his faults of not picking up his socks or the fact that he just so happens to be shorter than I am and the fact that he's from Holland so that means when his mother visits I have to endure longer visits cuz she doesn't see him and the grand kids often and I can barely understand a word she says) is someone I can see myself happy and growing old with!

    Try to work on it and pray about it constantly, show him you're willing to put forth an effort. If he's still a fool like my ex was (what the hail am I talking about was - that fool still is that's way he's alone, no car, no place of his own, nothing to show for his 33 yrs of living) then get out.
    I remember my ex telling me at one time that if I thought I could find someone else than fine - do it. At that time I didn't want someone else I just wanted...

    Answer by Ladybugkisses76 at 8:05 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • him gone! The next night when he drug himself in the house at 3am I told him he had to go! He thought I found someone else and I reminded him that unlike him I honored our marriage bed and never cheated but that had to leave. I was strong, I had the support of a few people - my mum, a few co-workers but all of my friends thought that I was mad. They were all the type of women who would stay in relationships for other reasons other than wanting too. Now look at 'em; either half aren't married at all or half are all just as miserable as I was and asking me how can they cope.
    No one can make a decision concerning your marriage other than you. However, look around and observe the couples around you who you see on a regular basis - I mean really look at them, even when they think you're not looking cuz that's when you'll get and honest idea of how a lasting marriage looks and then go home and be real to yourself.
    Much luv

    Answer by Ladybugkisses76 at 8:14 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

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