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Why do i love him so much when all he does is hurt me??

I've been with my man on and off for five years, and i'd do anything for him. Its seems like things go good for a few months then he's back to not returing my calls or calling me at all, but once i tell him its over, and what not, he waits like a month or so and starts acting like the man i fell in love with 5 years ago. Don't get me wrong, he's never done anything violent towards me, he just seems to push me away once he starts talking about out future together, marraige, kids, ect. I have a son but not from him. Even though when things are going good, he acts like my sons his


Asked by Anonymous at 7:04 AM on Jul. 19, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • I have to revise my answer. Thank you for explaining. It doesn't sound as though your relationship with him is going anywhere. But also that it isn't harmful unless it is keeping you from someone else who would be good for you and be the man of your dreams. I wish I had advice for you, but I really don't. You are in a difficult situation that I don't have ideas how to fix. I wish you well.

    Answer by Bmat at 8:24 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • Love is not logical... unfortunately we can't really choose who to love... but at some point you'll get sick of his bullshit and your love will fade away into hate... he sounds like a real rump to me and I really hope you get sick of him soon so you can find someone who will love you back and give you what you deserve.
    GL hon.

    Answer by Gremlyn at 7:27 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • His track record shows you what you can expect from him. It sounds as though he gets what he wants from you and then backs off. If not this, then he is emotionally immature and unable to deal with long range plans. Either way, from what you say, your time is being wasted and you should wash that man right out of your hair and find another guy. This one has become a habit, and it is hard to break habits, but it is possible.

    Answer by Bmat at 7:58 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • OP- When things are good, with us, its not like his is getting sex, because he is afraid to get me pregnant, without us being finacially stable (or so he says). Usually we just hang out and either talk or watch movies. Last time we broke up, it was for two years, in this time i had gotten married and divorced and had my son by my ex husband. The past month i have been looking for a new guy, but cant seem to get ahold of my current man to break up with him, i don't want to do it in text or voicemail, i just see that as an immature way of ending a relationship. Even though he's being a dick and isn't around at the moment, i'm not going to just cheat on him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:09 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • Have you ever considered having some "me" time? (without having a man) I don't mean forever but not jumping into relationships immediately after a break up. He's obviously not on the same page as you are. He's probably doing the single thing and out seeing other women which is what you should be doing, seeing other men or not seeing anyone and reflecting on your past relationships and see where they are going wrong. Enjoy your single life. You don't have to grab a man and settle down again. See what life has to offer you. Keep away from the ones who treat you like he is treating you. There are men out there who want women until they get them then they run off to the next one then come back when they get bored with that one just to hang long enough to find another one and run off again leaving you sitting there wondering what just happened and if/when he'll return. you deserve better than that

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:26 PM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • you are co-dependant. work on you first before you can "fix" him or the relationship.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:40 PM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • I have to agree with the answer above me. Don't know why she is annon, it's a very good answer. I think that maybe there is something inside of you that you feel you deserve this, and I'm sure you don't. No one does. He's playing a game and unfortunately your the game. He also sounds like he has a commitment phobia. Possibly he is just a jerk playing a cruel game. My advice to you is to take time for yourself and try to figure out why you put yourself in a victims role. Once you've figured that, he will be out of your life, and it will be your choice to get him out. Now that's a good feeling. Good luck hon.


    Answer by zbee at 12:53 PM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • Why do you not focus on you and your child.Go to school or get a full time job.Save money become stable.Instead of trying to find a man .You need to focus on your child and yourself not looking for a man.Before you get into a stable relationship become independent first.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:29 PM on Jul. 19, 2009