Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

should i get a c-section

i have a scheduled c-section set for the 27th of this month and my husband is very against it. i am terrified of a vaginal birth. i don't want the vaginal trauma, razor blades when i pee,tearing,not being intimate for 2-6 months or more, and all that. i am very depressed. i was very excited about the c-section until a few days ago when my husband began listening to his mother and telling me that i will regret it and that i am going to die or kill the baby. i have an awesome doctor and i am positive that i and the baby will be fine. i am so sad that no one is supporting me. i go to sleep crying now and i wake up crying too. i cry because of how scared i am of delivering vaginally. i don't think its healthy to feel like i do. i was happy when i was going to get the c-section, but now i am considering having the vaginal delivery not because i want to, but because that is what my husband and his family want. what should i do?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:27 AM on Jul. 19, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (14)
  • Go with whatever your doctor says. I've done both. My first baby was vaginal and my last two were by c-section. You're not going to die either way, doctors know what they're doing.
    Vaginal was scary, I'll tell you that. I was freaking terrified... but when it got down to it, it wasn't that bad. My first c-section hurt like you'd not believe, it took longer to recover from that. My last c-section was easier because I knew what to expect. You don't tear with all vaginal births, and most of the time the doctor will cut you to make sure you don't split like that. You won't feel him cut either and then they stitch it up... you use water to wash yourself when you go to the bathroom and witch hazel wipes if you start to sting.
    Is there any medical reason you can't birth naturally???
    Gremlyn

    Answer by Gremlyn at 7:31 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • If your scared of a vaginal delivery then you should have the c-section. I've delivered both ways and neither is worse than the other. They're just different. Don't let them make you feel bad for being scared. But a vaginal birth is not that bad. I prefer it. But you should feel good about the delivery, after all it is YOUR body giving birth. I personally would just tell them that when they carry a baby in their belly for nine months then they can choose how to deliver it. But nobody will even be thinking of the birth once the baby is born.

    Samantha_1629

    Answer by Samantha_1629 at 7:33 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • btw, i know the risks and the recovery process, thank you. everyone has been so rude to me. i have done 9 months of research and my doctor is a great person. my hospital is the newest and best hospital in Austin Texas. i took Lamaze class and i know that no matter how you deliver a baby there is going to be pain. you don't need to tell me how major a surgery it is, because i already know. birth is major no matter how you do it. i don't need bashing, i need support...thanks

    my doctor: http://www.aaobgyn.com/popup-phillips.htm
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:41 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • i am sorry that i am so defensive. everywhere, i get rude or mean comments and answers. this is my first baby and i don't have a medical reason for wanting the c-section. people are so mean about it that i almost wish there was something wrong. i am glad that i and the baby are healthy and i plan on keeping us that way.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:50 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • Don't you feel forced to have a vaginal birth. THIS IS YOUR BIRTHING EXPERIENCE. It's not good for you to be going into something terrified because thats what others want. I personally don't agree with c-sections without a medical reason because I think that we were made to birth babies. But I would NEVER try to force my opinion on someone or try and make someone go for something they are so very against. You want this to be a beautiful experience for yourself, if you think a c-section is what is going to make you the most comfortable and you're happy with that choice, go fo it. Chances are, you're NOT gonna die from it. You're gonna go in there, they are gonna get the baby out and then you are going to recover. End of story. Don't let anyone else's opinions make you feel guilty about your own choices. If they want to deliver vaginally, tell em to get pregnant and go for it. You're having a c-section ; )
    gottalovemal

    Answer by gottalovemal at 8:47 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • congrats btw!!!
    gottalovemal

    Answer by gottalovemal at 8:47 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • i'm sorry if this comes off as rude, but if you've done 9 months of research and you're still afraid of a vaginal birth, then you're not doing the right kind of research. read "the thinking woman's guide to a better birth" by henci goer, "spiritual midwifery" and "ina may's guide to childbirth" both by ina may gaskin, "the silent knife" by nancy cohen, and "childbirth without fear" by grantly dick-read. all will give you reassurance the vaginal birth is nothing to fear.
    most women who are afraid of natural birth is bc they've gotten the "horrible" childbirth stories. ina may gaskin's book have WONDERFUL birth stories in them and show that there is nothing to be afraid of.
    women have given birth vaginally and naturally since day 1. it's what we were made to do.
    mommytobobby

    Answer by mommytobobby at 9:25 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • I had 3 vaginal births & within a few days to a week, I felt like myself again--no pain & I wasn't slowed down a bit. I have also had a abdominal hysterectomy. I know it is more invasive than a c-section, but the incision site is similar. I was in pain for weeks afterward. Even two months after, if I over exerted myself, I would hurt. I could not pick up my kids & could barely manage laundry. BTW, I was 27 when I had my last child & 29 when I had the hyst so this was not an age thing. I would never advise anyone to have a c-section if they could avoid it. I know they are necessary in some cases & I'm not saying anything about those. But the pain of vaginal birth lasts during the birth & not much afterward. The pain of major abdominal surgery lasts for months. Do you really want to spend your babies first few months of life in pain when you don't have to? Congrats on the baby & good luck either way.
    funnyface1204

    Answer by funnyface1204 at 10:25 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • Why are you even having a c-section?
    smarshy

    Answer by smarshy at 10:31 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • hey i wanna tell you something..... my baby and I were the perfect pregnancy (thats what my doctor called us) Absolutely NOTHING was wrong. But I had to have a c section because big head couldn't fit. :) i'm glad i did. But honestly recovery isn't any faster. My son is 8 months old and sometimes having sex still hurts because of the scar tissue. and if my son is crawling over me or on top of me and grabs my stomach near the scar it still hurts. But to me it's a small price :) I would have HATED giving birth naturally. i like being the way I've always been with a small scar on my lower stomach :)
    Zacherysmommy08

    Answer by Zacherysmommy08 at 12:03 PM on Jul. 19, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN