Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Am I the only one who feels this way?

My 16 year old cousin has had about three boyfriends throughout highschool. She has cheated on every one of them (doing sexual things with other boys). She now has a sweet and gorgeous bf on whom she cheated by actually losing her "virginity" (I quote because there wasn't much left to lose) to another boy. The bf actually forgave her for that. A month after that she made out with two boys at a Christian camp. She called my crying after she got in trouble. When she came home and talked to her mom-she all of a sudden said that it was no big deal. Her mom doesn't like the sexual things she's done but doesn't even address the fact that she cheats! Because she only made out with the guys her mom thinks its no big deal. I don't think she got in trouble for breaking the camp rules either. Do you all think that cheating in any way is a big deal in high school?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:42 AM on Jul. 19, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (14)
  • it's high school, not like a "real" relationship is going to develop for a 16 y/o i think you and her mom should be more concerned with her being a slut
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:46 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • I don't agree with anon. It doesn't matter if it's a "real" relationship or not, she's disrespecting her partners. I think the way we behave as teenagers many times sets up the way we will behave as adults. If she doesn't realize that it's wrong to be dishonest now, she likely never will.
    benjamink

    Answer by benjamink at 9:49 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • well yes i think it is a big deal, but i also think it is part of growing up in high school getting prepared for such things in the real world, but not getting in trouble or even talked to about cheating on someone i think that is a recipe for disaster. if she doesn't quit she just might end up pregnant at age 17...i know...i was in that same situation...but one thing though if she says she can't make it through school because of a baby..she's lying...i graduated high school, i had my son when i was in my junior year and i went on to technical school with 2 kids and college with 3. education is more important than anything at that age...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:50 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • i don't agree with the first post i was engaged with my husband at age 15 i am 26 now and have been married to him for 8 yrs. we got married in my junior year...we have been together for 11 yrs
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:52 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • My best friend did those exact things and now we are 30 and she still does them.

    I finally told her bf b/c he was so seriously nice and sweet and I felt terrible for him b/c he was clueless.

    It does set up a pattern of behavior and she may be that way her whole life.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:56 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • I think it's a big deal in HS because it's something that will most likely continue as she grows up. If she can't stick with one guy she needs to not get into relationships. It's going to give her a reputation and she's only 16. She needs people to respect her and at this rate she's going to be known as the girl that will hook up with people -- and give it time, soon it'll be having sex with all the guys, rather than just kissing them.

    Maybe she needs to see a counselor? Maybe there's some underlying problem? Or maybe she's just being 16 and experimenting. Who knows. Hopefully she'll learn that this isn't the way to be respected by guys.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:58 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • Yea that's right.. Don't worry about teaching her that cheating on someone is wrong, I mean after all it only matters if it's a "real" relationship (What defines a "real" relationship anyway?) ...


    the first poster is insane..
    KalebsMommee

    Answer by KalebsMommee at 10:32 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • In a way, the first poster is right because maybe 1% of highschool loves stick. It's apparent the girl is slutty in the fact that she spreads herself around. That being said The whole issue needs to be addressed. It is no better to flirt and have sex with multiple partners than it is to cheat on the partner you have... at any time. My daughter was not allowed to date till she was 16 and if anything like that went onI would have put a stop to it. Now that she is 18 she can do as shes pleases but I would not hesitate to tell her my opinions if she was acting in that fashion. Her dad and I have been together for 29 yrs so it's what she has seen all her life. You don't say but I bet the mom is divorced. Maybe it's the mom who needs a talking to.
    itsmesteph11

    Answer by itsmesteph11 at 11:02 AM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • wow...... and I thought my family was dysfunctional!

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:00 PM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • It is a problem for many reasons, the least being that she will be considered a slut, get a rep for being easy and eventually no boy will want to date her. She is developing a pattern for cheating and it will have lasting consequnces. She will end up pregnant and not know which guy is the father, she will end up with STD's, etc. Her parents need to have a long talk with her about respect for herself and her partner, what happens to girls that act like she does. I just see this entire family on Jerry Springer.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 12:11 PM on Jul. 19, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN