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did i mess this up?

ok about 5 or 6 months ago my fiancee was on his way to bootcamp. Before he left he TOLD me not ask that he was going to spend some time with his friend who happens to be an ex girlfriend of his even though it botherd the hell outta me i said nothing! so today iwanted to see how he reacted if i was to tell him well my ex had call me and he wanted to go to the movies and would it be alright if i go to see the movie? Mind you i ain't going nowhere and no ex of mine called. He gets all violent and cursed me out and hangs up on me?! i tried calling him back he ain't answering i went on aim to try and talk to him he changed his buddy icon what used to be us to a pic of himself and said some hurtful stuff on his away! its not fair because in the past he cheated on me and i was still by his side and this is what i get? what??


Asked by Anonymous at 2:56 PM on Jul. 19, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (11)
  • well, on the one hand, what you did was wrong-which I see you already know. On the other hand, you have now seen his true colors. Do you really want to stay with someone who is going to get pissed at you for doing the exact same thing he did to you? I know I wouldn't. My boyfriend and I are equals-we know that whatever one of us can do, the other can as well. We think about if we would want the other to do what we are doing, and if we wouldn't, then we figure out why we are doing it. When you add this to the fact that he cheated on you in the past, it sounds to me like this is not the best of relationships. You shouldn't have done what you did, but now that you did, you need to decide what to do with the knowledge you gained from it. Do you want to stay in what seems to be a mostly one sided relationship or do you want to find someone who will truly respect and love you?

    Answer by tropicalmama at 3:22 PM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • I think he is very selfish first of all, and secondly I think maybe testing his waters while he is away is a bit dangerous. When he cools off he will call u and just say u didnt go out with ur x and u were simply asking for his permission not commanding. Also ask him y it was ok that he went with his x? what difference does it make?

    Answer by kirsty_mcgrail at 2:59 PM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • It sounds to me like he'd make a good EX!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:01 PM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • I think both of you are being childish. You for lying "just to see" how he would react, and him for acting this way.

    Answer by kikikiki at 3:04 PM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • wow, you want to marry a guy like that?

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:06 PM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • i agree with you i was being childish but i was thinking about that don't know why but i just wanted to test him

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:06 PM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • Do you REALLY want to be in a relationship where you feel a need to play games to see where you stand with him??

    He should NEVER have gone and spent time with an ex before he left. And you should have told him nicely that you didn't want him to and that if he did it would cause damage to your relationship.

    He obviously has double standards. Because what was good for him sure in the hell wasn't good for you. And then lets go to him cheating on you . . . after that in a relationship spending time with an ex would be a big no no. And I can't help but to wonder considering his past if why he freaked out about the thought of you going off with an ex is because he knows what he would do with an ex.

    Answer by TessLouise at 3:08 PM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • no his ex isn't at bootcamp it was before he went away...

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:08 PM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • I agree- sounds like he would make a good EX. You are suppose to trust him, yet he doesn't trust you? Thanks but no thanks

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:13 PM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • You wanted to "test him". You tested him, and he failed. TIme to move on to a man that is faithful. Once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater.

    Answer by say_tay at 3:52 PM on Jul. 19, 2009

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