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Do you make your 2 year old share his/her toys?

How do you go about it? I read recently that they do not understand at this age and it will damage their security to make them give there toys to another child to play with? What if this other child is a relative, always at your house and never brings or has any of their own toys to bring over and share?

Is this really true?


Asked by Anonymous at 5:15 PM on Jul. 19, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • What you read is true, at the age of 2 children are not developmentally ready to share, they don't understand the concept. Things are very concrete at that age there's no gray area, and thats their toy so they don't understand when you say share that they will get the toy back, they think its being given away. If you watch 2 year old children they also don't play together, they play independently next to one another. Group play doesn't come developmentally until sharing does, and both occur during the preschool years, ages 3-5. Punishing the child for not sharing isn't teaching them anything because they honestly don't understand what they've done wrong, they cognitively aren't ready for that idea. When my son was younger if he had a book I got his friend/relative a different book. If he had a car, I got a different car for the other child. If he became upset I pointed out how cool his toy was and that usually calmed him down.

    Answer by ba13ygrl1987 at 7:21 PM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • I don't think it could damage them , but thats jmo. I always try to encourage my kids to share. I think the younger you teach them the easier it for them to learn. All you can do is try, i never force them to , that could probably be damaging.


    Answer by Iluvmygirlies42 at 5:18 PM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • My kids have ALWAYS shared their toys. Most kids have more then one toy and so it shouldn't be a problem to share some of them with another child. Are you saying that your son doesn't want to share any of his toys are just the one he wants to play with at that moment?? If it is that he doesn't want to share any of his toys I would put a stop to that now. Just my opinion.

    Answer by TessLouise at 5:19 PM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • I always have lots of kids at my house. My grandson will be 3 in August. We are still working on sharing. I do make him share his toys, we talk about sharing all the time. I sometimes give them a time limit with a certain toy, then I say " that was nice sharing now let's switch toys, this is how we share". The only thing I don't make them share is they "lovey" , my gs has fav. blanket that is always his, he doesn't have to share it. If someone else does have it I make them give it to him. I think if they really have a fav. toy then you should put it up....but not too many toys can be favs and not shared. It takes time and patience to teach them sharing. Just keep explaining it and showing examples.

    Answer by robinann5 at 5:21 PM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • Ohh, sorry. To answer your question, i got about it by taking turns. Let one play with it then tell her its the next person's turn now. If she is reluctant i tell her , don't worry your going to get it back when its your turn. Start off with very fast turns. So she gets the concept kinda just like passing the toy back and forth. Then let one child do something with it a little longer than the first time, and so on. It doesn't work in one night. But for the most part it has proven to be affective for me and my kids. P.S they never want to share their very favorite toy, so i wouldn't start with that. lol


    Answer by Iluvmygirlies42 at 5:22 PM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • My son shares, I always tell him they arent his toys they are everybodies toys. If someone asks to share he shares, takes turns or trades. If the other kid tries to steel it then he doesnt have to share. But he does get very frustrated when he asks other kids to share and they dont.

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 5:26 PM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • I don't see that it is damaging to a child by making them share. I don't understand some of the concepts and theories that have come out now about children. Crying it out at times doesn't hurt or scar a child, there is nothing wrong with sharing toys, etc. I have my nieces and nephews here at my house weekly. Everyone is told to share. If they can't or won't follow the rules then they get a spanking and their parents are called and advised of what's happening. Most of the times the kids are just fine playing by themselves and on other days there are tanrums thrown because everything didn't go their way. That's too bad though. Give it 5 minutes and they are all best friends again.

    Answer by lilbit022009 at 5:28 PM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • My kids had no choice but to share. I had 3 of them right in a row and they shared, clothes, food, Mommy. They were actually better at sharing when they were toddlers then they are now. My 2nd daughter was always more then willing to share. It was actually a fault. Her older brother and sister used to take advantage of her generosity constantly.
    In the end, in our house, if they don't want to share I take away whatever they are fighting over. This morning I had to take away 5 or 6 small toys they got at our block party last night because they were arguing over them. My kids are 9, 7 1/2, 6 1/2 and 3 now.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 6:23 PM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • Absolutely, my children are taught to take turns and ask for turns nicely. I cannot comprehend how sharing at 2 years old would be emotionally damaging.

    Answer by asaffell at 6:25 PM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • I don't make my daughter share her toys. I strongly encourage her but do not force it. In reality, those are her toys and yes it is polite to share, but it's not mandatory. My kids are only 2.5 and 7 months though. I think they will learn as they get older to compromise.

    Answer by tnm786 at 6:52 PM on Jul. 19, 2009