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rude friend...

how would you suggest dealing with a rude friend? been friends with since the age of eleven...almost 28 years old now. just really cant stand her anymore. she is bigot to say the least. she has drug and alcohol problems, she is bi-polar, on lots of meds...just a HOT MESS. very stuck on herself, becomes belligerent on almost every occassion. i have tried to stick by her side because i feel like thats what a good friend should do, but its very wearing. i have a family and my own problems...she is everything a good friend is not. how do i cut the ties? we only have 2 mutual friends left...everyone else we know that we were both friends with will not talk to her anymore. i have cut her off before and received cards in the mail and gifts fro my child at my door. its annoying, but she makes me miserable.

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:28 PM on Jul. 19, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Be firm and consistent. Treat her just like a child. Tell her No and that's it. Stick to your decision, change your number and that's that.

    Answer by m-avi at 9:32 PM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • I've done it before. Its hard, and for some strange reason i miss my friend sometimes. But i just stopped taking her calls. End of story. If being someones friend feels more like work all the time, then its time to move on...imo.

    Answer by Iluvmygirlies42 at 9:44 PM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • Dont accept the gifts, send the cards back, dont answer the phone when she calls, and if you happen to see her someplace just say hi and keep walking. Surely she will get the hint.

    Answer by heavenlypeace at 9:46 PM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • I would simply explain to her that you outgrown her. She refuses to grow up and act like an adult and you no longer have the ability to tolerate it. I would tell her that when she does grow up, then you migh reconsider your position. But be clear and state where you think you are growing apart.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:49 PM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • You have two choices, avoid her or tell her the truth. Be prepared for her to hang onto you for dear life, if everyone else has dumped her. But you have exceeded the good friend status and are now being a doormat. She's gotta go so you can free up yourself. It's just not your job and you're both grown ladies, you can't take on her problems forever. This will totally be up to you to cut ties but your instincts are telling you to do so and I would listen to them.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 10:14 PM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • I've been though this exact same thing. I stopped taking her calls and her letters. She hasn't stopped calling even after avoiding her for 4 years. I had my phone # changed even. She has my sisters # and has been recently calling her and texting her all week, in otherwards, harassing her. She is a stalker and needs mental hellp!~ Sorry, I hope your stalker doesn't drag it on so long for you, cause it's kinda creepy.

    Answer by Ilovemy5joys at 10:55 PM on Jul. 19, 2009

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