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I try to do special things for my husband and make him happy, but he doesn't care.

I want my husband to feel special and loved, but every time I go out of my way to do things he doesn't care. If I make him a special breakfast before work he wont eat it. I offer to iron his clothes, but says don't bother. I make him lunch to take and he leaves it. I tell him to go out with his friends and he wont. I ask him to pick a movie he wants to see - no reaction. I try to schedule golf time or get him to go to the batting cages - nope! I've even offered massages, to do his nails,trim his beard and tons of other stuff - I get a big far no!
He makes me not want to even try anymore or even offer. He doesn't do the slightest for me let alone offer to do anything for me. So I figured if I treat him really nice and do nice things he'd do the same for me. But he doesn't want me to do anything caring for him. I makes me feel rejected. What do yall think?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:31 PM on Jul. 19, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Does he display any affection at all for you?
    Cherrie522

    Answer by Cherrie522 at 11:32 PM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • "So I figured if I treat him really nice and do nice things he'd do the same for me."


    This is the problem right here. Until you do these things because you love him and they come from the heart and not expect something in return then he will see right through you. Also, you could be smothering him and acting more like a mother than a wife. Try to talking to him and letting him know that you enjoy doing things for him and ask him what you can do that he might enjoy.
    JeremysMom

    Answer by JeremysMom at 11:35 PM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • I know how u feel mine is like that. Every night i rub his back and his feet and whatever he wants me to do for him and after i'm don he just rolles over and goes to sleep. I do theses things for him b/c like u sed i want him to do little things for me that say he cares but Nothing IDK how to fix it but i u want message me and we can chat!
    kat324

    Answer by kat324 at 11:37 PM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • To the OP and Kat324- I strongly suggest reading Dr. Laura's "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands". I think both of you have the right idea but some of her ideas will help you with this. She really explains very well about why men do the things that they do. It was a real eye opener for me.

    JeremysMom

    Answer by JeremysMom at 11:43 PM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • Yes I've even read that book a while back. I guess I need to read it again. He's head of the house, I try to make him feel like a man, I try to look pretty for him and so on.

    But all I was saying was that I try to treat him like I would want to be treated. Nice, affectionately, helpful, considerate. Is that so bad?? Isn't that how you're supposed to treat each other? I just don't think it's a healthy relationship if it is all one sided.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:54 PM on Jul. 19, 2009

  • While I understand your intentions are sweet and noble, I have to agree: Making his lunch and ironing is something his mother would do.. and it's incredibly overbearing. Try waking him up with a special blowjob, not a special breakfast. Offering to trim his nails??? and his beard??? You're not his barber, you're his wife. You wanna make him feel like a man? Make him fix the sink and then he make you have a great orgasm when he's done.
    CoolGirlChris

    Answer by CoolGirlChris at 12:33 AM on Jul. 20, 2009

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