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How do I let him go???

My husband and I have been together for 2 1/2 years and married for just over a month and expecting our st child in November. We planned on marrying in 2011 but when we found out we were expecting we went ahead and did it early... I find myself depressed and crying from time time because if feels like i ruined his life... like he wants something else... to run free and do as he please...He doesn't say it but his actions... when he's off he does makes plans that doesn't include me... He has a long list of female friends that he tends to get "verbally carried away" with from time to time... he wants his life back... and i want mine... i mean for the sake of my unborn child I have to let him go because all this stressing is not good for me... i don't know what to do.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:32 AM on Jul. 20, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • Perhaps you should sit him down and tell him what you just said to us and see what you two can work out.

    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 2:37 AM on Jul. 20, 2009

  • It sounds to me like you're assuming he feels like he wants out. Or maybe you want out, and so you're transferring the feelings to him, like when someone is cheating and they accuse their spouse of cheating. The first thing I would do is sit down with him and talk to him. Find out if he actually feels this way. You might be surprised to find out that he doesn't. You mention things like making plans w/o you and getting carried away with female friends. I'm going to assume, which could be a mistake, but I'm going to assume he did these things before you married him. Men don't usually change when they get married. If they are flirty or cheaters or deadbeats or whatever, they usually stay that way. I guess the question I would ask myself is: If we stuck with our original 2011 date, would I have married him then or would we have broken up before then? If the answer is no, or you're sure he wants out, then you just have to do it.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 7:59 AM on Jul. 20, 2009

  • just read this book and instead of wondering whats in a mans mind..." he's just not that into you"
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 1:00 PM on Jul. 20, 2009

  • What maskes you think ? he wants his life back. you say he makes plan with his friends and dont uinclude you. Well tell him to include you too. your pregnant not dying. Tell him that as long as you feel that you can go out and do things that you would like to be there too. ask him to tell you honestly how he feels about having a baby. Ask him if he's really happy or is he staying with you because he wants to do the right thing. And for the flirting part tell him that a little inocent flirting is ok but but getting carried away is out of the question. just tell him you dont like it'
    incarnita

    Answer by incarnita at 2:31 PM on Jul. 20, 2009

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