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How can Iget my daughter to love herself more?

It a long story how my four year old got this way but I am at my wits end and need help! She hates her hair because it is not long and blonde. She thinks she is not pretty because her skin is "too peach color" and that she wants a mom who is not brown.

She got this way because she was staying off and on with my husband at his mother's house while and me at my parents (we were staying at his mom's house to help take care of it while she stayed up north at their farm but she decided to come down and"help" us). Most of the time she was at my MIL her cousins were also there...that is where most of the problems with her attitude begin. My husband and I had to separate while she was at the house because I am very allergic to her animals. We are now all in our own spot but the damage seems to be done.


Asked by Brickhouse95 at 5:17 PM on Jul. 20, 2009 in Just for Fun

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Answers (12)
  • sorry, I was just confused, I got called a racist once because I said "brown people" the black community didn't seem to respond well to that- I guess what ever is politically correct now a days- I don't keep up with it all.  Is his family against there white son marrying a Brown person?I would assume her feeling got hurt because she loves you so much, and wants to be like mommy, and heard grandparents say bad things about you so now she feels lost- torn between to cultures.Just let her no its great to have two strong and community leading cultures running though her veins I assume she hates her hair, because its dark in color and not "white" people hair, and I assume she wants either lighter or darker skin and not a in between. I would say its time to talk with MIL- because SOMETHING was said.



    Answer by JnCV at 5:29 PM on Jul. 20, 2009

  • I am still confused to how a 4 year old is familiar with outer beauty?

    was DH or family saying things to her?

    And by "brown" are you saying she is white, and you are black or mexican or something?

    more details plz


    Answer by JnCV at 5:20 PM on Jul. 20, 2009

  • maybe she just wanted to look like the rest of his family, i'm not being rude but do you really think they pushed that on your dd? i hope not, for her sake...remind her how beautiful she is....i'm not trying to be rude, but this is why races shouldn't mix

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:21 PM on Jul. 20, 2009

  • My husband is caucasian and I am brown...I am not black, that is the color of my appliances!
    My husband is always telling her she is beautiful but his family is the one in question.

    Answer by Brickhouse95 at 5:23 PM on Jul. 20, 2009

  • Well sorry go out looking for just "colored man" to fall in love with! It just happened. She is our years old not really a age where children say things like that...this is a problem that would come up eventually...but not four.

    Answer by Brickhouse95 at 5:26 PM on Jul. 20, 2009

  • CON'T
    I would take her out to a black history museum, show her all the great things that blacks have done and are still doing today, than take her to a natural history museum and find some white American history as well. teach her that nether race is better than the other, and she should be proud to be both!!!

    Answer by JnCV at 5:30 PM on Jul. 20, 2009

  • To JnCv.
    I am not very politcally correct either I just do not like being called black because as I stated above and I am not from ancestors may be but 100% American here! Thanks for the reply though.

    From what I have seen and heard from his family they do not act racist but it could be another story when I am not around. I know his grandmother on his mom side was racist though because she definitely let me know!

    Answer by Brickhouse95 at 5:38 PM on Jul. 20, 2009

  • ....i'm not trying to be rude, but this is why races shouldn't mix

    This is a disgusting and ignorant comment! Love doesn't see in color! Looks like racism is still alive and well, thanks to close minded bitches like you!

    OP, something must have been said, but your daughter could have misconstrued it. Kids that age are curious, maybe one of her cousins were asking her why her skin was a different color, or why she didn't have blond hair. I do agree, she is a bit young to come to these views on her own. Just make a comment to your MIL about what she's been saying and just ask if she could clue you in to why she might be feeling this way. Make sure you don't come across as assuming whatever was said was said intentionally. Maybe she and her family can help you in your efforts to teach your daughter that she IS beautiful, just the way she is.

    Answer by motherofanaries at 5:41 PM on Jul. 20, 2009

  • Maybe its just a phase? Children go through all kinds of phases. Just tell her how beautiful she is and how great of a person she is becoming.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:41 PM on Jul. 20, 2009

  • I think eventually she will grow out of this and learn from it. people are people, it shouldnt matter what there color is... and I find that A LOT of mixed babies grow up to be the most compasionate people and beautifully featured.
    Its a shame that she is going throu this stage so early, but it was somthing that she would have gone throu eventually.
    make sure you tell her everyday how beautiful she is, and what matters most is whats on the inside, not the outside!
    Good for u mama!
    you sound very smart, and very strong, and will get ur baby throu this no problem!

    Answer by JnCV at 5:43 PM on Jul. 20, 2009